Keepin fit?

Woke up at 930 am today to play football with Beg Mal and his friends, all the way at Tanjong Pagar, at Duxton. I need to keep fit since I haven't been doing much running, and it kinda showed, 'cos after a few minutes I was already panting. GASP. Howeverrr, *note to self*: If you're pinning your keep-fit regime on playing football with a bunch of guys who're hitting 30, 3/4 of whom are married with children and you're the youngest there at 21 years old, it ain't much of a help. They got tired even earlier than I do. Hahah.

Had maggie goreng at some Mamak Shop in the CBD area, before heading off to Beg Fan's house to play with my two young hero bujangs, Zulfikri and Zulhilmi. And also to provide manpower to transfer a super-heavy television set to my uncle Cik Massba's house at Bedok Reservoir. See the advantages of having 2 brothers! Anytime manpower is needed, we are the ones providing muscle. *note to self*: I must have several sons. Hahah.

Man Utd vs Man City yo!
Can't wait to see if the 17 year-old Danny Welbeck is really gonna be playing.
Can only watch the first half because I have to book in tonight. Haiz.
Always Army interferes with my life.
Man Utd to win 2-0!

Vroom Vroom!

Okay so the day started off with me handing over my DOS duty to Shafik. Immediately went home 'cos I had my first bike Pract 1 at 1245pm. So I left it a little late...as usual... and began calling around my friends on what to bring for the lesson and stuff. Nawaz said I'm crazy for booking a Practical lesson immediately after doing my DOS duty. I think he fears I might fall asleep at the handles of the bike or something. Hahaha. Just for the record bro, I didn't. Haha.

I turned up at the registration counter some 10 mins ahead of time... only to be reprimanded by the instructor because apparently I was supposed to be there an hour ahead of time for orientation. Gee. How was I to know seh? I was rushed through the procedures and even bought them ugly durian gloves compulsory for the lesson from the canteen. Sheesh.

Made a new friend today. This pretty girl called Shahirah turned around, approached me and made small talk, and turns out she's also a first-time learner. Very friendly of her. Poor girl, she fell off the bike several times and had difficulty controlling the bike and its weight. Me? Thanks to my absence during the orientation period the hour before, I was pretty much clueless as to how this hunk of metal masquerading as a machine operated. Again, I was given a brief run-through, and for a person going through a crash-course, I did pretty ok I guess. I didn't fall off the bike or anything, though my fren did crash into my rear from behind around a bend. Urm okaaay that sounds wrong. Hahah.

And the cramps! No wonder the instructor led us for a warm-up exercise before the lesson. In trying to prevent the bike from tilting while stationary, I suffered butt cramps from exerting my gluteus maximus-es too much. It's no fun I tell you, having butt cramps and not being able to do anything about it because there are girls to your left and right. Yowza.

Next Pract next week! Woohoo I'm enjoying this =)

Happy CNY!

IT'S THE CHINESE NEW YEAR HOLIDAYS Y'ALL! And you know what THAT means.

That means I've got a super-long weekend!... aaand DOS duty on Friday. Chee. What a bummer. Guess my long weekend ain't gonna seem very long after all, 'cos I've gotta book in on Thursday and only hand over my duty on Saturday morning. And the screwed up part is, my entire extended family, including both my sis and bro-in-laws are going for a short trip to Malaysia! Dang. As my mom ruefully said, susah payah ibu dapatkan semua orang, ader jer kau ader duty la, kerja la. Bukannya senang tau nak dapatkan abang kau free sumer, lagi² the whole family dapat pergi. Haiz. Well, wait ibu, wait till I'm no longer addressed as 3SG Zulhikam, but Mr. Zulhikam =) I can't wait!

Oh, thanks for the Swensen's treat Syida! =) It's my turn to repay the favour. Stay tuned.

Went to Vivo to catch a 9:30pm movie, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street which I've been planning to watch for a long time. Speaking of which, I had a dream circa 3 weeks back, that our friend here Sweeney Todd was after me and he was literally chasing me with a parang on the streets at night, a la Freddy Krueger. That's friggin' scary uh. I don't wanna be made into a human pie. I must have forgotten to angkat my usual wudhu' before bedtime that night. Sheesh.

The movie ain't quite what I expected though. It's quite a different... experience. With about 70% of the movie consisting of... urm singing. Woah man. And truth be told, I quite enjoyed it. Woah man there Hikam. First, I watched a chickflick in 27 Dresses. Now, a musical. I'm really pushing myself and expanding my horizons mannn. It didn't hurt that the 2 female leads were pretty hot either! In tight corsets and makeup. Mmmmm. In the movie, Joanna the golden-haired lass exudes an innocent Rumpelstiltskin girl-next-door charm that was well... charming. Mrs. Lovett is a gothic wonder, sexy in a demented, perverse way, what with her pale skin and painted eyebags and heaving... u know. I read that Helena Bonham Carter was pregnant while portraying Mrs. Lovett. Well, I say you can't get anymore feminine than a pregnant woman! First she looked strangely pretty as a female monkey in Planet of the Apes. Then she looked hot as crazy Bellatrix Lestrange in Harry Potter. And now THIS! And oh yeah, the slitting of throats in the movie was very brutal. The exaggerated spurting of thick red blood was so spurious that it was funny. And that's a Tim Burton hallmark right there. To be able to portray the blood such that it seems theatrical, not violent takes some skill. Overall, brilliant movie I say wot?

My bike Practical 1 is coming up this Saturday! Woohooo! I...I...I... excite!

Welcome to the Jungle!

Alrighty then. Hands up those who's been wondering what's happened to me that I haven't been updating this blog. In other words, you miss me. Yes, YOU.

ARGH man. I would so love to say that I've been to the moon and back, been around the world a couple of times on vacation in the past 3 weeks or so, but the reality is that I've had my 2 feet firmly planted to the ground. VERY firmly planted to the ground. Proning on the ground even. Yes yes, I've been outfield. Spending my time with smelly recruits and wild animals instead of with family, friends and loved ones. Oh well. 9 more months to go.

Truth be told, I don't really like being outfield. My vocation and training calls for it, but I don't enjoy it. True, I get to see nature up close and personal, e.g. a family of wild boars crossing the road, a monitor lizard, scorpions, snakes, monkeys, giant ants, and walked face-first right into an even more gigantic spider's web...but all I really longed to see when I was outfield are women. Women with giant... smiles =) Yes that's right. Too much testosterone can be draining at times. balik² muka sama. Haha. You can rest assured I'm only like this when I'm outfield. Other times I'm pretty normal.

I need to catch up with my civilian life again. I'm lagging by 3 weeks! =(

...and we all die young.

FIRE IN MY POCKET!!!

OMG. I just spent like my entire NS pay today, after only getting my money in last week!

I spent the entire day shopping today. What's that you say? How out of character of me? OH YES.
Woke up @ 930 am today. Left my house for Ubi CDC, to register for my bike licence. YES! Finally I'm taking the first step to having a bike licence. Hahah! Ssssh. Don't tell my mom k.
Registration cost 80 bucks, plus an initial injection of 300 bucks into my account...cue expenses so far:

$80+$300= $380 (Motorbike expenses)

After that, I left for Sim Lim towers to recce me a phone. I desperately need a non-camera phone for in-camp use by this week, since I'm gonna be off to the Tekong jungle for the next 2 weekends, but I didn't wanna pay for a ciplak phone, I wanted me a quality one that could last me a long time. So I went to Sim Lim...spent some time there, then drove off to Mustaffa with Hikmah in tow to recce the prices there, and in the end went back to Sim Lim since it turned out Mustaffa was more expensive. So I'm now a proud owner of a Sony Ericsson W950i, and it cost:

$370 (phone) + $50 (warranty) + $31.50 (7% GST)= $451.50
Total Expenditure thus far (gulp!) :
$380 (Motorbike expenses) + $451.50 (Phone package)= $831.50 ( O_O )

However, I'm not done yet. I spent a further 33 big un's on an A/V cable for my Creative Zen Vision:M, and another 30 ketuls fillin' up the old girl with petrol, and 7 gongs to give her a gd wash N' scrub, which leads my expenses to (double gulp!):

$831.50 (Total transactions so far) + $33 (A/V cable) + $30 (petrol) + $7 (car wash) = $901.50 ( O_O !!!)

OH MY PUCK. That's MORE than my NS pay! That means I've cut into my savings. Oh mannn. This is suck. Thankfully I'm in the jungle for the next 2 weekends, that'll help keep my costs down. Argh I've got so many things I need to get, yet so little financial resources...arghhhh.

And dang. I forgot to factor in the Burger King meal I had for lunch.

27...watwatwat?

OMG. I can't believe I just allowed myself to get forced into watching a CHICKFLICK.

I spent the evening with my cousins at Kak Muni's house, and circa 2230h, Shahmi called me up asking if I got any plans for the night and if not, whether I'm game to watch a movie. Hah! Of course, me being me, I'm game on and so Shahmi rattled off a list of movies. However, the 2 girls wanted to watch...OF ALL THINGS... 27 DRESSES. I mean, wtf is that? How could a movie called 27 Dresses... evidently about dresses, what else... be any fun to watch? I mean I'd rather watch grass grow...

I protested of course, and Shahmi admitted that it's a chickflick, though he tried his best to assure me that it would be fun. And me, being always willing to go through crazy things for family's sake, I agreed to go along for the 2345h show with the 2 girls and him. So I drove us off to Tampines Mall. I was so embarassed to be watching a chickflick that when I ordered the tickets, I stammered and uttered 'Ummm....4 tickets for the...the...ummm 27 thing.' That earned me a nudge in my shoulder by Hikmah and both she and Kak Muni took liberties laughing at me. Sheesh. Thanks ah man.

BUT OH WOW. I didn't know it would turn out the way it did. The movie was actually quite entertaining! And the pretty cast of actresses didn't hurt my eyes one single bit either. Hahah! I mean, the last chickflick I can remember watching was probably 2004's Honey featuring Jessica Alba and even then, DESPITE featuring the delectable Jessica Alba, I watched it only because I had agreed to escort Kak Muni. So you can imagine the surprise I got when I actually found myself hooked to the movie, and rooting for Jane (Jayne? *winks* =D ) in her quest to find real love. OMG Man Hikam. What's coming into you. And to add to that, Hikmah heads-up'ed me a little fun fact: Katherine Heigl, who plays Jane (Jayne? =D =D), she's actually starring in Grey's Anatomy! Hoho! And I didn't even know... that's how out of touch I am with television. Heh.

After this experience, I might just open up abit more to chickflicks...
Though I'll still draw the line at Hugh Grant.
Anything featuring him is an uh-uhhh.

TKH First Game after 3 Months

Yes you read that right.

Team Kental Habis, otherwise known as TKH, finally managed to group up again after our last game circa somewhere during Ramadan...which was what, some 3 months ago?

And so it came to pass, that Al Capitan Yusry, he organized a game @ Bowen Secondary in Hougang... which has a brilliant pitch I tell you. I felt like a professional footballer stepping onto the nicely carpeted turf, demarcated with clear, white lines. But of course, Aizad and me,we came late...fashionably late I might add... so the team had to start without us. Heh. Against a ciplak Man Utd impostor team wearing white Man Utd jerseys.Heh heh.

The game started off with a flourish, with TKH gaining the upper hand soon after the starting whistle. Before long, we went 2-1 up, and just as we were looking to set the tempo of the game, the referee halted it in lieu of the dangerously inclement weather. It was a royal Cat 1 situation, with dark clouds for miles out and lightning flashing accentuated by thunder. Pretty freaky I tell you. Having adjourned the game for about half an hour, the referee resumed play, albeit with the pitch rather waterlogged and the weather still not quite healthy.

Half time came, with TKH up 4-1 against the other team, I got no idea what they're called. Incredibly though, although we controlled the 2nd half, a combination of misfortune and a series of incredible individual mistakes allowed the opponents to catch up 4-4, and the game ended 5-7!
Incredibar! What a game. Goals galore, but unfortunately we lost. Oh well...

Til next time, Aggression & Flair,
TKH!

Backlogged Pictures

Here are some of the pics from CuzzenHencemJambu Clan's outing to Singapore Science Centre and also our sending off at the airport of our cuzzens from Brunei...~

Helping a freaked-out Fikri up

Butting in on the girls' pic...heheheh

Hello Mummy

Eldest was mesmerised with this...

elder kept looking at this...
I LOVE this......and my sister was awed by this!!! antique handphones!!! Wtf?

Abang² bergs. HAHAThe CuzzenHencemJambu Clan

Shaggeddd =(

FINALLY! That's it. I'm not doing enlistment duty at SFT any longer. Whole day standing around from 6am trying to usher in the parents as they come in bus by bus,wave by wave, like the ocean. Raising my voice, doing public speaking to several buses of parents briefing them on the procedure on how to enter Pulau Tekong. All this for 12 hours straight.

And then of course, there was the Tornado.

The whole focus of the day was the enlistment of the Tornado's son, at 1130am. Hours before, his bodyguards in civilian plainclothes attire and some of them looking impressively like typical cheekopeks recce-d the place, briefing us on the various security measures in place. The 3-crab colonel and even a one-star Brigadier General came down just for this occasion. A friggin' one-star! At SFT of all places. There's a rare sight.

And then he came, in the middle car in a convoy of 3 cars with Traffic Police escort. His vehicle of choice was impressively... normal, a family wagon, complete with very average joe licence plates. So much the better for keeping things low-key...if not for the convoy and the Traffic Police escort of course. He breezed through in like a gust of wind and disappeared into the ferry. His son looking impressively like a miniature version of him, but lacking the hunched posture of the dadday.

Once the Tornado's hit the island, we breathed a sigh of relief because now we could relax abit. Could we? Nooo, 'cos them parents just kept coming. I swear I didn't know one could get this tired just from standing around. From 6am-6pm I kept repeating the same old briefing. Haiz.

I wonder if his son will be treated any differently? For sure no one would admit to giving him preferential treatment, but I do suspect his company would suddenly uncharacteristically be welfare... Hmmm.

Alhamdulillah we didn't cock-up. Not during the Tornado anyway.

Tornado!~

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

An Eyeful A Day Keeps the Doctor Away?

Oh Wow. Now it's medically proven then. An eyeful of urm... fats a day keeps the doctor away!

Now there is no excuse for us guys NOT to look at women... and even less reasons for women not to allow their partners to ogle at other scrumptious senoritas...after all, we're only following Doctor's orders. Haha! According to the article, "Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym". Continuing, " A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful". But of course, Zulhikam is not going to do such a thing, oh good God no. ASTARGHFIRULLAHALAZIM, DOSA tau. Zulhikam is going to keep fit and healthy the conventional way by eating well, and exercising, and not smoking. Besides, staring at such... assets might just earn us a tight slap across the face. Yes yes. No looking at...at... busty beauties, voluptuous vixens or fleshy females. Yes. Well... maybe not so much. I AM a man after all =D Speaking of being a man...

Pretty Faces Get Men's Brains Going
http://www.goofigure.com/UserGoofigureDetail.asp?gooID=6428

"A beautiful woman's face is like chocolate, cash or cocaine to a young man's brain, according to Harvard University researchers. Their brain-imaging study revealed that while young heterosexual males are indeed capable of finding beauty in another man's face, only a lovely female visage can set off the "reward centres" in their brains.

When men in the study were shown pictures of various faces, only the female faces deemed beautiful triggered activity in brain regions previously associated with food, drugs and money, according to findings published in the November 8th issue of Neuron. The unique effect of the comely female face occurred despite the fact that the men also rated some male faces as "beautiful."

"It looks like there can be a difference between what the brain 'likes,' an image that is judged to be attractive, and what the brain 'wants,' something that is regarded as a reward in and of itself," study author Dr Hans Breiter, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, said in a statement. In their experiments, the researchers first asked a group of men to rate how attractive they found the faces - which, unbeknownst to the participants, had already been placed into the categories "beautiful" or "average." The men's ratings, it turned out, fell in line with the categories, and attractive male faces garnered ratings similar to attractive female faces.

But in the next phase of the study, men in another group were allowed to control how long they viewed a particular face by pressing a key. Breiter's team found that they "expended effort" to see the beautiful female faces for a longer time, but for all other faces they tried only to "make the faces disappear faster." Finally, in a third group of men studied with brain imaging known as functional MRI, the investigators found that only the attractive female faces set off the brain's "reward circuitry."

"It's particularly interesting that the attractive male faces actually produced what could be considered an aversion response, even though they had been recognised as attractive," Breiter said. His co-author, Dr Nancy Etcoff, noted that this research echoes previous work suggesting the human perception of beauty may be "in-born." "While we know that experience, learning and personal idiosyncrasies all have an impact on attraction between particular individuals, these results show that this basic reward response is deeply seated in human nature," she said in a statement.

Source: New Zealand Herald November 10, 2001 via Reuters

I love being a man.

Jam-Packed Weekend Part Deux

SUNDAY. I had my day all planned out.
Or so I thought.
And as the Army loves to say, "I thought, you think...who confirm?"

Woke up at 11+AM shagged after yesterday's exploits. Had a jamming date with my fellow ATM members Hifzie and Fauzie, with Shafie also at 1300hrs at Bugis MRT. I had a cohesion family makan outing with my brother-in-law's side @Johor later that night after Maghrib, and in between jamming and Malaysia I had planned on hitting Beach Road to get me an SCDF Fieldpack backpack which I had been eyeing for a few months already.

So imagine my annoyance when my mom told me that we were leaving for Johor immediately after Zohor!!! Now all my plans had to be cancelled mgnmgnmgnmgn. I couldn't possibly back out of the jamming date, my pals were counting on me. Fortunately my eldest brother had a meeting and would be leaving for Johor with his family at a later time, so I arranged to hitch a hike on his car. Hitch-a-hike eh. COOL. Just came off the top of my head there.

And so we jammed, at some anonymous hole-in-the-wall studio at Bugis. Hifzie had proposed a setlist of what is mostly Hard Rock and Rock Melayu numbers, including Don't Cry and Sweet Child O' Mine from Guns N' Roses, and Cintamu Mekar Di Hati and Sendiri from May...and also the evergreen Sejati from Wings. It would have been a hell lot more enjoyable if not for the very, very poor quality of instruments and equipment provided. I even broke a string from bending too hard on a rusty one! Sssshhh k!... O_O

After jamming for maybe 1.5 hrs, I decided I COULD maybe squeeze in some time and hit Beach Road, so we set off on Bus No. 11 (that's Army-speak for infantry soldiers walking on foot, for the uninitiated) walked off course, before finally locating Beach Road. I got my fieldpack, but I hadn't eaten breakfast nor lunch, and was well hungry, yet I had no time 'cos my Beg Fan was waiting at the carpark, so I tapau-ed a Beef Bistik and devoured it like a hungry dog inside the car. This was followed by a donut, and some Baskin' Robbins ice-cream at Malaysia. I told ya I was eating much nowsaday. Incredibly sinful food.

Or so I thought. More sinful was the food that was to come later that night. We set off for our favourite makan haunt @ Kampung Senibung, just across the Straits of Johor from Singapore, and on the menu that night was Steamed Fish, Chilli Crab, GIGANTIC Butter Prawns, La-la (what do they call this in English I wonder?), Stingray... woah, my mouth's drooling just reminiscing of the food. I'm incredibly lucky I have the type of body that just won't get fat no matter what I eat, and I guess an active sporty lifestyle doesn't hurt either. Oh man I'm getting hungry againnn... I could use the cookies and brownies promised in my mouth right now~ ^_^"

Reached home about midnight, and I scrambled to prepare everything to book in to camp the next morning, and I ended up sleeping at 1+AM. And to think that I have to catch the early 0645 fastcraft mannn! That is suck ah.

So that's my weekend. How has YOURS been?

Jam-Packed Weekend

Okay. I hardly have time to breathe here, so let me catch my breath abit.

The past weekend has been strangely packed for me, I prefer my weekends relaxed.

OK, in case you got no idea what in the world I'm talkin' about, let me begin. I booked out on Sat noon, and was all primed, psyched up and ready to play in the first TKH game in months later that day. However, as per the usual in recent times, my hopes were penyek-ed, as I was informed by team captain Yusry that the game was cancelled. However, he asked me along for a kickabout session at East Coast's futsal turf in the evening. So, while awaiting the time, I went to the Nokia Care Centre at Century Square to get my handset repaired. Which of course, they didn't. Waited close to 2 hours waiting time too! Mgnmgnmngmgn.

So, the next big thing to look forward to was the futsal kickabout. Drove to East Coast, kicked, dribbled and shot my way through a few matches, earned another excellent bruise on my right shin just as the one on my left was recovering, and left the place with Yusry as my date to the Clan's barbecue. Hey, they DID mention to bring along someone. And Yusry is as much a Clanner as anyone...

Anyhoo. Tong's place was humongous! It's the one in front of Masjid Taqwa. As I greeted my fellow Clanners, I found that the ladies were having a cohesion session with each other inside while the guys were chillin' out outside. Ah, I see the Clan is still observing proper Muslim etiquette. Alhamdulillah~ Needless to say, the usual crude boy jokes which abounded doesn't count as improper of course...heh.

Time ticked-tocked its way down to midnight, and Nawaz was panicking because he had to send his girl back all the way to Boon Lay before it was too late. Feeling a conscience, I volunteered to drive them to Boon Lay, so as not to get my buddy into trouble. After all, I wouldn't want my 23-year old friend to get into trouble for bringing his 17 year-old girlfriend back home too late would I? And yes Nawaz, after finally meeting your girlfriend instead of just seeing her pictures, I have to agree with you that she's darn JAMBU HOT ah! Haha. Good choice mate~ ;) I wish I'll get that lucky too someday...

For some reason Nawaz was thanking me profusely for that gesture, so he proposed that I drove us to SIMPANG BEDOK (AHEM) to treat me to a nice warm mug of teh tarik. In the end, we tapau-ed 12packets of the warm sweet beverage to bring back to Tong's to share with our brothers. As the guys settled down to a game of Cluedo after all the ladies have left, I left Tong's house as it was alerady 1 AM in the morning and I wanted to catch the Man Utd-Aston Villa FA Cup match at home...

So that's my Saturday. Stay tuned for Sunday's tale!

Cho bo lan?

TODAY IS SAF BMTC MOVIE GALA DAY!!!

Timing to be met: 0745 h @ LIDO Shaw Towers.

Working backwards, Reveille: 0545 h.

Keen to avoid getting extra duties from my superiors for coming late for external school/unit events (ahem Nabil), I woke up at the ungodly time of 0545 hrs, mindful to make it in time at LIDO Shaw Towers by 0745 h. I made good time, collected my goodie bag of snacks and ticket, and entered the cinema. Only to find that printed on the ticket stub, the first of the 2 movies playing will be shown at 0940hrs. NINE-FORTY AM SIAAA. And I woke like 4 hrs earlier just to meet the 'registration' timing of 0745 h uh!!! Mgmngmnmgmgmgn.

Anyhoo, the 'missing' 1.5 hrs or so was filled by games initiated by the emcee, along with lucky draws that unfortunately bore no fruit for me. Nor DVD player. Nor PSP 3. Nor LCD TV. Oh shucks. The first show to be played was "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets", and the movie didn't disappoint, though I would have much liked for there to have been more of the conspiracy theories and Masonism and whatnot. And oh! I wanna read about the secrets of Area 51 too!!! heh. And oh oh !!! The female lead is smokin' uh! Whatsername... Diane Kruger? Mmmm.

Movie ended at ard 12pm, with a lunch intermission before the 2nd screening, "I Am Legend", at around 2pm. I couldn't catch that one because my company commanders, we all had to go back to Pulau Tekong for the route march later on in the afternoon. That is suck ah. I didn't get to Solat Jumaat ( =( ), I didn't get to watch I Am Legend... and to think I puasa and tahan for the entire month of December just for this day la! Go back Tekong just for a route march...which I'm not even participating in uh! My shin's still bruised. Ow. Not muscle bruised, but BONE bruised. Ow ow. Not to mention my sprained ankle. Ow ow ow. Eeeee that sounds so ngada-ngada~

So wad's an injured PS to do? Hitching a ride on my CSM's car, once upon reaching Tekong I switched to my admin attire, and proceeded to just blast loud music in my office while eating cup noodles and reading newspaper. Nothing left to do for the rest of the day, really. So I just Cho Bo Lan. Did some re-planning for tomorrow, now that the TKH match has been cancelled. Planned to go jam, but no time, so I'm sending my watch (My G-SHOCK dieded!) AND handphone (cannot SMS!) for repair tomorrow, before enjoying myself at The Clan's Barbecue @ Aizat Tong's house tomorrow. I'm supposed to bring a girl along of course, everyone's bringing their partner, it's an introduction cum cohesion session, but since I'm unattached, I'm not inclined to invite anyone... not gonna let 'em know I have anyone in mind and at heart. Haha.

I'M SORRY CLANNERS!

MOWTHEBUCKS WHATTHEPUCK JITTERBUG!

Dear all, here's a question: Where do you usually find ants, a colony of ants at that, complete with ant eggs and practically, a nest?

I'm sure you'd answer things like 'in the jungle'...or 'on the field' or even...'a house'.

SO WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN ENTIRE ARMY OF ANTS DOING IN MY PAIR OF SOCCER BOOTS!!! %@E*&JKORS&T@E*T(@SY !!! MOWTHEBUCKS!!!

I was packing up my Nike Mercurial Talaria's Chrome/Blue boots into my bootbag to bring to Pulau Tekong later on when I book in, when I noticed some ants on my boots. Curious, I investigated the boots under the light, only to find to my horror there were ants crawling all over my boots! Ye Gads! So I rushed my boots to the toilet and washed them in hot water. Still them degil temuts crawled all over my boots, they didn't wanna die those idiots. Similanciaaao. Wondering why, I lifted up the insoles of my boots...only to find TO MY HORROR THAT THE INSIDE WAS EVEN WORSE!!! And there were EGGS!!! EGGS SEH!!! GODDAMN DOUBLE BONGOK ANTS! And all that my boots have ever gone to are various football fields !!! (duh.) And the last place I used them was the field at Tekong Stadium!!! And and it wasn't even wet! And and and there weren't like dead insects inside or anything.

THEY JUST APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE!!! MARANGPRAPUKEPONTENMARANGSCAPER BETOI !!!

THIS MEANS WAR. I don't care. Ain't no ant gonna mess with Zulhikam. I'm gonna pour Oral B inside my boots. And throw my boots AND my shinpads into the dryer. If Oral B solution and the heat of the dryer isn't gonna kill them mgnmngmngmnmgngn, then I don't know what to do.

MNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNMGN!!!

Testosterone, Adrenaline & Caffeine

OK so yesterday was the Family Day event at Jurong Waterpark or whatchamacallit. Where wives and girlfriends are invited, and we guys are required to go in swimming trunks, and not even board shorts are allowed. WTF right. So, I didn't go. Where I did go was, was Tampines Polyclinic. As you all know I had a very intimate encounter with a red-hot siren a few days back also known as a fire hydrant, and I had yet to see a doctor, so I guess the time was ripe enough to seek medical attention.

I was relieved to find out that my left shin suffered nothing more than incredible bruising the length of the bone. At least its not a fracture or a broken something-or-other. Mmm strong bones! My right leg though, was as I had suspected: I had a sprained ankle. This could only mean one thing... I had best be careful with what I did.

So naturally that very same afternoon, I played soccer. Just couldn't resist it, a chance to meet up with The Clan once again and just have a guys' day of fun. We played well I guess, so well that we lost to a team of little kids, and Adam even sustained an injury. Talk about adding insult to injury! We didn't want to play physical with them kids, who weren't even old enough to shave and fantasize about girls, yet in the end they ran circles around us. SHEESH. Thanks ah kids.

I had planned to meet up with my bro Hilmi after that later at night, but he couldn't make it, so once again The Clanners, we hanged out, heading for The Saffrons at Tampines Central there to have a bite of maggie mee goreng with telur mata lembu. There we linked up with Adam and Aizad while Nawaz left early to settle urm his girl. Him and his girl problems. Haha. Who would have thought I'd finally come across the time when Nawaz had girl issues eh. Anyhoo, after that, I hitched a ride on Aizat Tong's red Honda Jazz to Mak's Place, only to realize that it was closed, before heading to Mosi's Cafe @ Arab Street, with Adam, Aizad and Azhar making their way there on their respective bikes. Down the alley, a bunch of mats and minahs were busy making noise, drunk stupid on alcohol. It embarasses me, this behaviour, especially when the Middle Eastern waiter leant close to me and asked "Sorry, may I ask: Malays are not supposed to drink alcohol right? So why are they drinking?"

Astarghfirullahalazim. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

And so on the stroke of midnight, on 010108, I can be found at Arab Street. Mosi Cafe's first customers of the new year! Having had our fill, we proceeded to Aizat Tong's house to "recce" his house for a suitable spot to hold our barbecue this coming Saturday when the various members of The Clan will catch up on lost time and introduce their significant others to...well, The Clan. There, I tried out Adam's Gilera bike for the first time and I thought I was doing well, until I lost control of the bike and the bike fell to the left. Kauz Adam was like hopping mad with me ah. But as the time-tested saying goes, "Blood is Thicker Than Fuel", so in the end he accepted my sincerest apologies and we proceeded to Simpang Bedok to have yet more food and teh. At last count, I must have visited like 3 different eating spots in one night, Mak's Place notwithstanding 'cos it was closed. Haha boys/men will forever be perpetually hungry.

I came home something like around 4am in the morning after an afternoon and evening of testosterone, adrenaline and caffeine, and ended up sleeping only at around 5+ AM Subuh time after helping someone.

Now don'tcha wish YOUR life was exciting like mine? =D

Selamat Tahun Baru & Happy New Year!!!
May our lives be blessed by Allah.
Amin.

Had a weird dream today. A very long one, and it seemed all too real. A dream of you. It's bugging me no end.

Ouch Ow Adoi Urgh Argh Owowow!

Hello there. Do you know, or have you ever wondered what it feels like to run along at fullspeed only to crash shin-first into a fiery-red fire hydrant? Thought so. Me neither.

Until yesterday.

Yes, you read THAT right. And no, I don't usually go around crashing myself into fire hydrants, or lamp-posts for that matter. What I DO usually go around doing is play football. So here I was enjoying a game or two...or many... of late-night football, when my 2IC, LTA Glenn, sent a peach of a through ball for me. Just my favourite kind of situation, I revved up the turbo, switched on the NOS, and broke the sound barrier running after the ball. Cheh. Drama eh?

And so I chased after the ball, which was heading out of the court anyways. I spotted the fire hydrant, its red colour screaming "DANGER!" to me. But ever so confident, I knew I could slow down in time AND sidestep the dang metal sculpture to boot. But obviously I didn't factor in Murphy's Law which goes something like oh I don't know, "Shit Happens." (?) As soon as I reached the grass patch surrounding the court, alarm bells started ringing in my head, as I slipped on the slippery green surface right smack into the red *insert colurful expletives here* whatchamacallit. The resulting collision produced a crowd-pleasing 'thunk' or 'thud', although it wasn't all that pleasant for me I assure you. Cringing in pain, I bent over forwards clutching my shin in agony. Expecting blood, I was relieved to find that the superficial damage to my skin was minimal, just that my white socks were ripped as though Wolverine himself left his mark there. However,an almighty swelling was taking shape. I tried to manfully get back on my feet, which I did, albeit only for a few mins. More pain was in store for me though, as soon after I tried joining back in the game, a dribble led to me being challenged by an opponent, causing me to twist my right ankle awkwardly. So, cue damage count: Left shin swollen, right ankle mangled. What other horror lies in store for me?

My hand. After all the adrenaline and endorphins had settled down, my body began to feel the full effects of the collision. Not only were my two lower limbs screaming in pain, my left palm too feels an excruciating sharp pain whenever I try to open it. Eh that is suck uh.

Broken the sound barrier I might have, but I'm just glad I didn't break my leg too. I hope.

It's All Over =(

All together now... "Chak Pong!"

That's it then. 2 weeks has gone, and now so have my cousins from Brunei.

Rushdah, Faiq, 'Ilmah and Zharif have certainly been livin' it up in the 2 weeks they've been here. Practically everyday they've been asked out by eager families of Nek Pon. Places of interest include the Zoo, Night Safari, Jurong Birdpark, VivoCity, Downtown East...and I'm sure many other places I've not mentioned. So the day before they left Singapore for good, Beg Fan decided to bring along the 2nd-generation cousins along on a trip to the Singapore Science Centre. Besides the 4 siblings, these included my siblings, me, Shahmi, Nabilah, Raihan, Kamilah, Aqilah, Haziq and my nephew, Zulfikri.

The trip went swell, the little kids especially, enjoying the spectacular magic of lightworks and sounds, along with mathematical and optical illusions on display. It brings a warm feeling to my heart seeing my extended family enjoy such great cohesion between us, when other families don't even know each of their own cousins. After about 4 hours there, our convoy of 2 cars headed for West Coast to have lunch, where we stuffed ourselves crazy. I had planned to bring Ilmah and Rushdah along with me to Peninsula, because Ilmah wanted to get MY guitar picks while Rushdah wanted to get a a pair of matching man-woman necklaces (ahem!), but in the end, they watched a movie with Ibu Jawahir and Kak Muni who had asked them along.

When the day came for them to finally leave, I had to beg my CSM to let me go on a night's off just so I could send them off at the airport. And so I came, complete with my army uniform and beret. It was a tearful moment especially for the ladies, as they hugged and cried. For us guys, it was a time for macho abang-abangness as we coolly salam-ed each other and let wished them well. God knows when they shall return to Singapore...

Oh Golly Gee

Oh my oh dear me. It's been frightfully ages since I last updated this blog. Well what can I say, I did tell certain...people beforehand that I had only 1 (one/satu/un/wahid/ee) day left before I got busy. And busy I am!

This new post of mine has kept me desk-bound and yet simultaneously running around the shop to get things done, literally. At the same time, it's a trying test of my patience to deal with problematic recruits and recruits who have problems with communication due to the fact that they are recent PRs to this country, to the extent that I have to deal with them in a manner similar to little kids when trying to get my point across, and the whole irony of it all is that this is a mostly A-level batch, and heck, I even have a Physicist amongst them! They're not stupid that's for sure, it's just the communication problem. Maybe I should try speaking Kazakh?

On the other hand, my 4 cousins from Brunei are finally in Singapore woohoo yeah and I've been spending most of my off/leave days with them while they're still here. Boy they have grown O_O Rushdah is so kakak-kakak now it's strange, Faiq the Ronald Weasley Doppelganger is growing still but his voice is yet to break, Ilmah is getting to be cheeky on top of being so bubbly she's practically effervescing, and lil ole Zharif is still the same ole adorably cute boy who's graduated from asking my elder bro Beg Mal "Apasal Beg Mal makan pokok?" when he's actually eating ulam, to asking me "Asal hidong dier merah?" while pointing at the Decepticon logo on my Transformers T-shirt. Haha incredible cuteness I know.

So I have spent my days spending quality time with them and the rest of the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan @ our chalet between 16-18 Dec (I only came on the 17th), escorting them to Bugis Street as the ever-watchful elder cousin, to teaching Ilmah guitar techniques while simultaneously being taught to play 'My Heart' by Irwansyah & Acha Septriasa from her (yes she's good). This, on top of our impromptu jam session @ BMC on the 2nd day of chalet (video to be posted up soon!!!).

Someone's been asking why we've gone from exchanging tagboard errr tags to Friendster comments. Haha. What's next?Urm...well... guess what? I got no idea. Haha.

And OH YEAH. SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI to all MUSLIMIN & MUSLIMAT!!! =)

Haiz

Well its the 1st day of the confinement period, and its been a mad rush 24 hrs for me so far. Non-stop running around settling stuffs. I never knew administrative and logistic matters could be so physically and mentally draining. And this coming from someone who's been through some hellish training!

The posting to Quebec really came at the wrong time. I had it all planned out; my recruits @Falcon would POP on 121207, and I would be clearing leave after that 'cos the company would be on lull. But Nooo, I was posted to Quebec and I have enlistment today. Which means that I would be missing out on 2 major family events: My close cuzz Kak Muni's engagement today, and the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan's chalet on the 16th-18th! =( This is suck. Sorry Kak Muni for not be able to attend your special day, and sorry me Zulhikam for not being able to treat you to a fun-filled 3 days with your cousins the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan. Maybe I'll just get the photos posted up.

=\ =( =(((

JUDGMENT DAY/D-DAY/MOMENT OF TRUTH!!!

This is it. 3 weeks of sai kang or quite literally, its crude translation 'shit work', will all culminate tomorrow and our efforts and mine, will manifest itself tomorrow.
I have been there right from the start, and the 3 weeks of hard physical labour, hours invested into setting up Quebec Company, cleaning and installing fixtures and furniture with manpower usually less than 10 men, often with 5, the results will all show tomorrow.

Because tomorrow is Enlistment Day. And I am super shagged.

Time will tell whether what we have done so far is sufficient to run the company. But hand on heart, I can honestly say that I have done my best, and so have my colleagues, in trying to ensure that enough is done to at least make the company self-sufficient and functional. What's more, tomorrow will be a trying time for me personally, as it's the first time I'm holding the appointment of Platoon Sergeant. God please let there be no cock-up, mistakes and don't let Murphy's Law come into play.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Overdue~

Kak Ana's Engagement Pic with the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan.
SELAMAT PERTUNANGAN KAK ANA

A Shot Right Through My Ego

See this advertisement? This is an advert for the new Samsung D600. But no, the focus of my topic here ain't the phone. I couldn't give 2 hoots about the phone. I'm more interested in the female model in the picture. You see, something quite jarring happened to me a few days back.
And a comment was passed which I can't quite decide if it's flattering or insulting to my male ego.

Prologue: I was sitting in front of my Platoon Commander 2LT Hairoul in his office just casually browsing through the day's edition of TODAY newspaper, when I saw this advertisement, and commented on how incredibly beautiful this woman was.
Cast: Me
Hairoul (My PC)
Travis (Clerk)

Me: Eh roul, kau tengok deni (pointing to the pic)...lawa eh... Foooh ni kalau dapat... *fantasizing dreamily*
Roul: A'ah. Tu kau ah tu.
Me: Huh? Aper yang aku?
Roul: Tu pompan muka sama macam kau. Kau tengok betul-betul.
Me: Kepala hotak kau! Aku aderlah tengah imagine dia matair aku, abeh kau boleh kata dia muka macam aku lak!
Roul: Tu Travis yang cakap. Dia yang point out pat aku, "Eh this girl would be exactly what Zulhikam would look like if he went for a sex-change!". A'ah seh, memang sama.
Me: %!$^%@$^#^&@#^!!! (Marangprapukepontenmarangscaper!!!)

For those who don't understand, what's happening here is that I was admiring this fine specimen of a lady with the alabaster skin and silky soft hair and full red ruby lips and that come-hither looks, and showing it to Hairoul and telling him what would happen if she was my girl. He replied that that girl looks like me, and that Travis was the one who pointed it out to him, saying that was what I would look like if I went and cut my member, ifyouknowadimean. And he actually agreed. Whatthebug! Travis wasn't helping either, because when I confronted him, he just laughed and said, "Haha Hikam that's sick you're making love to yourself".

Definitely an insult.

Hikam? You decide.

Speaking of making love to one's self...Enjoy. Watch till the end.

Fun Times Are Coming...NOT =\

I visited my aunt Ibu Jawahir's house yesterday for a majlis doa selamat. My cuz-in-law Abang Irwan (Beg Wan for short) is going on the Hajj Pilgrimage today, and so the majlis doa selamat was held in his honour semoga dia dapat menunaikan Haji yang mabrur. And so there was the big family gathering and makan.

Speaking of family gathering. My long-unseen cuzzens 'Ainul Rushdah, Ahmad Faiq, 'Ainul Ilmah and Ahmad Zariff are finally coming back to visit us from Brunei after what, four years?I really miss them. We in Singapore only get to meet them every few years. I missed watching Rushdah going through adolescence. Now dah macam kakak². Faiq is already 15. I wonder if his voice has broken. I swear he's a Ronald Weasley Doppelganger. Ilmah I've watched her since her whale-spout baby days grow to a blooming 14 year old. And I've totally missed Zariff's childhood.

And to coincide with anak² Bik Apis's arrival, the CuzzenHensemJambu Clan is organizing a chalet on the 16-18 Dec. Its been something like 2-3 years since our last chalet and this time round there's the added bonus of our cousins from Brunei joining us. And the games that they've planned after the majlis doa selamat sounds like major fun!

Well that's all fine and dandy, but why did I bring this up?

Because....

I WON'T BE ABLE TO JOIN THEM FOR THE CHALET!!! mgnmngmngmn.

and why won't I be joining them u ask? BECAUSE... the chalet is held on the 16-18 Dec... AND MY NEW BATCH OF RECRUITS ARE ENLISTING ON THE 15th!!!! mgnmgnmngmn. AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE I'VE BEEN POSTED TO QUEBEC! If I had stayed at Falcon, the recruits would have POP-ed on the 12th, and I'll be free to attend all 3 days of the chalet. HAIZ, mgnmgnmgn grumble grumble. And with enlistment, comes a 2-week confinement period. And and, my cousins are only gonna be in Singapore for 2 weeks!!! WTPH!

~Fooosh... Smoke Out!

Yes ladies & gentlemen, I AM in camp, and I AM tasked with a job to do, but wad AM I doing right now? That's right kiddies, I'm surfing & blogging in this spacious air-conditioned room so imaginatively called the 'Permstaff rest room'. Yawnz. I got about 100 recruits outside the room now cleaning and sweeping and washing away all the dead birds/bees/bird's nests/droppings/dust throughout the entire building, and my job is to supervise them and make sure they do a good job. But no, I'm not 'smoking out' out 'cos I did give them botaks instructions and I DID supervise them...for awhile. Haha. But now I'm getting me some well-deserved rest and TLC. Now I know how Nabil feels. HAHAHA. Perangai Nabil sak. The cool rainy weather and the monotone of the air-con humming in the background and the Westlife songs playing on the computer beside me ain't helping a guy with a stomach full with lunch keep his eyes awake either....

Lived a wasted life since the day you were born
You lacked the sense to care
Time that waits for no man you just let it go by
But now its to late to care

Your time is over there's no where to run
You lived it all but left your prayers undone
You're headed for and there's no turning back
Your past life is all just painted in black

Astarghfirullahalazim. Insaflah wahai insan. Yes, YOU.

Men In Green!

The Men of Falcon Company~...

Falcon Company Platoon 4 4/07 BMT (PTP/Leadership) 15th Sept-12 Dec 2007 (Formal)

Falcon Company Platoon 4 4/07 BMT (PTP/Leadership) 15th Sept-12 Dec 2007 (Informal)

Falcon Coy Commanders (Formal)

Falcon Coy Commanders (Informal)

My Section (Platoon 4, Section 4)

Best Damn Thing!

Remember what I said about being in love with Avril Lavigne? Now THIS is why. The pouty, full red ruby lips from which flows an edgy yet girly voice( I can just close my eyes and listen to her voice all day...menyetimkan) , the porcelain flawless alabaster skin, the slender frame... those mesmerising eyes... all in a spunky, sporty yet feminine package. Ooooh! Irresistible~ Just my kinda girl! The best of both worlds. Not too tomboyish, and not too prissy either. The perfect balance between aggression and delicateness. Now why in the world do I sound like a horny awestruck-dumbstruck-lovestruck teenager?

Awww...look at that elfin face...and from what an urm angle...it's almost as if she's asking for...ummm never mind

Spunky yet feminine...shaking her shoulders all...

Spunky...

Feminine...

Imagine she singing "~So come over here~" to me with her finger like that...Oh wow! The middle picture macam Saloma... Makes a guy wanna cry... O_O

Best Damn Thing indeed.

Looong...VERY looong...

Allo! Haven't been updating for a week. Well life has been going on as usual, with me enjoying a bit of peace ironically, now that my hp is gone. Bought 2 (TWO/DUA/ITHNANI/ER/DOS) phones (my pocket is burnt =\) to replace my bro-in-law's and my own. God, the Govt better start dishing out bonuses to us poor NSFs.

This week is a milestone week. I performed my last-ever COS duty and I played in probably my last football game for Falcon Coy, which unfortunately we lost 3-1 against Jaguar (more like the United Nations,with their imported players) in front of our entire company of watching recruits. Goddang recruits. For the 2nd time in a row that they watch us play, we lost. MUST be the recruits. And my left thigh is hurting something bad, no thanks to the exertion of sprinting up and down the left wing in rainy conditions. Suspect it's a pulled muscle. Someone thought I had a groin abrasion from my limping gait. Thanks ah man.

My kakak sedara got engaged today! CONGRATS KAK ANA. It seems as though only a few years ago that my cousins were having tuition at my house, and we're all making noise and fooling around with toys and making ice-cream and having fun in the park behind my old house. But now, one by one they're all either getting engaged, or married, or having babies. Haiz. Where has my childhood gone?

Picked up my parents who're coming back from a 2-week holiday in Australia at the airport. While driving there, I saw a traffic jam on the other side of the road and a really mashed-up yellow sports car. The jam happened just outside the exit of the roundabout, and so the jam that resulted stretched all the way to the carpark. Seeing that we can't even exit the carpark, we decided to makan and minum at DeliFrance. And that's when we met Sudin! Yes, THE Sudin. Sudin Bujang Lapok. Sudin Zaiton. Sudin...oh u get the idea. It was awkward 'cos we wanted to acknowledge him, and his family members noticed we were looking, but his entourage was so large that...oh forget it.

Heard a story from my sister-in-law's bro to be aware of a certain VCD from Muzika Records. There's this one Hamba Allah who bought this documentary a la ENTITY about ghosts and the supernatural. The start of the video had the usual doa's and all. However, he didn't watch it till the end before halfway falling asleep. 2-3 days later, his family started getting disturbances from makhluks and generally being harassed by supernatural beings. As it turns out, the CD had carried a warning, that for those intending to view it, they had better watch it till the end, because at the end there was a doa penutup. This Hamba Allah hadn't realized it, so he became the victim of said harrassment. Astarghfirullahalazim. So beware, ladies and gentlemen.

And to top it off, Beg Fan (Abang Irfan) told me to check out my email, a picture of a certain Cik Pon that was caught on cameraphone somewhere in the vicinity near my house. By then it was already around midnight so when I got home at 1+ am, I switched on the laptop and viewed the picture. Sure enough, there it was alright, perched on a tree. I even identified the location, within walking distance to my house. Anyone wants the pic? I can send the email. Hit me if u want it.

Hasta Luego mis lectores~