Never Walk Alone...A Call to Arms

BOLTON 1-0 MAN UTD

MOWTHEBUCKS!!! WTF?

Never would I have envisaged this scoreline. What made it worse was that Arsenal scored 2 in the last 10mins to win 2-0, and Liverpool too, picked up 3 points. That sucks arh. I'll never hear the last of it from my brother and brother-in-law, who are both Arsenal fans. Goddang double Gooners.

Lazy day for me today. Thought of calling StarHub to shutdown my line (I lost my hp for the uninitiated) and later pay a visit to the Customer Service Centre to claim a new one. Managed to do the former, but for the latter, I need my mom around 'cos my line's in her name. And my mom is in Tasmania arh! Won't be back til 1 December. So for that duration, I've got no phone. Haiz. I feel as if I've lost my member...figuratively speaking...w/o my phone. And I've even bought 2 phones to replace my bro-in-law's and one for myself uh!

I snapped my gf's (read:guitar) string by pulling on her too hard, the first one, the high-E string.
So haiz, I've got to add to my expenditure this month by buying a fresh set of strings. Pokai lo! =(

When you feel that something's wrong
I'll shelter you and keep you warm
I'll never let you walk alone
I loved you when you still hated me
I'm comin and it won't be long
Time to reap what I have sown
Never ever let you walk alone
I know your enemy it once was me

MEGADETH - Never Walk Alone...A Call to Arms

Things Are Looking Up!

Ok, so things might not have been going swimmingly for me. But why the sadness? I should be thankful to God for what I have, and who I have. Alhamdulillah.

First up, the expected backlash didn't come from my bro-in-law. I had finally decided to just be honest with him and face his wrath like a man, but the expected vortex of anger didn't arrive. Alhamdulillah.

I finally decided to heed my OC's advice and see the doctor. So now I'm feeling better after a few rounds of medication, and my voice is coming back. Alhamdulillah.

Went to collect my SGC (School Graduation Certificate) @ MI with Rasyida (Btw, Happy Birthday Syida! 19 eh.or is it 14?) 'I-dun-listen-to-BSB!' teman-ing me. Met a few familiar faces, a few teachers, a few old friends, and a certain...friend (friend?). Went to watch Beowulf, which was a remarkable movie for the effect it had on me (in particular, the monster Grendel's seductive mother, a certain nubile and near-nekkid Angelina Jolie =D). Had mindless, brain-numbing fun, and finally gotten my Megadeth's United Abominations CD. Alhamdulillah.

Reported to my new company, Quebec, and I was told by my CSM that we'll be booking out everyday for the next few weeks as he only wants to work 8-5 'office' hrs. Plus plus, I don't have to come back on Saturdays because HE doesn't want us to work on Sats! Alhamdulillah.

Maybe things are not that bad after all.

And I'm in love with Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend!
Or am I just in love with Avril Lavigne? Alhamdulillah.

Man Utd vs Bolton tonight!
Man Utd win? Alhamdulillah.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Okay the last few days have been A Series of Unfortunate Events (sorry Lemony Snicket) for me.

First up, I lost my voice, and thus had to endure laughter and ridicule by my colleagues. Geez.
Then, I fell sick. Then, my phone started giving me problems, first by rebooting itself whenever I tried to type an sms, then the screen shone weirdly with a message saying 'Test Mode'. Subsequently, it became 'Contact Service', and finally, it inevitably shut off completely, and I couldn't even switch it on! Whatthefish. So I thought, 'What's the worst that could happen?', I went home, only to find that I didn't have a spare non-camera phone. So I borrowed my brother-in-law's Nokia 6610, and all was fine and dandy.

The next day, my OC came running up to me to tell me that I'd just been posted to Quebec Company. WHATTHE...! Here I was, laughing at Nabil for getting posted to Zulu Company, 4km inland next to the jungles, and now I'm gonna be his next-door-neighbour. To make things worse, my CSM said I'm gonna be a platoon sergeant in the new company. WTF!!! I'm one of the most outspoken specs against being a platoon sergeant, and now, I'm gonna be one. That's like a slap in the face uh. And to think I've only taken half-a-batch! I'm not ready for added responsibilities. I must be the most inexperienced PLT SGT ever. Oh well,JCC, here I come.

But nooo, things didn't just end there. As I alighted the ferry to go home the next day, I realized I left my bro-in-law's phone inside the sea vessel. So I quickly backtracked back onboard, asked the RP and boatmen if they'd seen a phone, but of course, they didn't, just as I expected. Sheesh. All those times I took great pains to return lost handphones and cameras, yet I've never been on the receiving end of such kindness. And it's my bro-in-law's phone!!!

As if things couldn't get any worse, I was so exhausted from lack of sleep throughout the week, that I fell asleep on the bus back home. Which would generally be ok, except for the fact that I missed my stop and had to walk back. KAUZ.

And and...when I reached home, settled down in front of the computer with a glass of plain water, I discovered a temut (semut) drowning in my drink. KAUZ KAUZ.

A Secret Place

There's a secret place I like to go
Everyone is there but their face don't show
If you get inside you can't get out
There's no coming back, I hear them shout
Welcome to my Hideaway, my Secret Place
How I arrived I can't explain
You're welcome to, if you want to stay
But everyone just runs away

Let me in... Get me out....
Can't do more than twist and shout
Lost my soul without a trace
Found it again in my secret place
In disgrace

I hide from those that try to find me
Scary things that's right behind me
I lost myself, I must confess
I can't explain how I got this mess

I just feel for some reason, that these words aptly describe my life pertaining to my relationships with other people swimmingly.

'There's a secret place I like to go...Everyone is there but their face don't show'
This 'place' is the Zone or shell I withdraw into somewhere in my mind,when I'm thinking of people who matter to me, yet because of circumstance or incidents, I don't matter to them anymore. That really hurts.

'If you get inside you can't get out...There's no coming back, I hear them shout'
Once I'm drawn into that part of my mind, the feeling just overwhelms me. It's like an addiction. A drug. You know the feeling? It's something that I can't explain. Not with words. And there's no coming back for a 2nd chance, or even a chance to make things up to the person(s) who you care(d) for...

'Welcome to my Hideaway, my Secret Place...How I arrived I can't explain'
I share with you my place of refuge...that Secret Place inside my head which records all the emotions concerning love in my life...I don't know how it came to be, but I guess that's one of God's mysteries...in times when I'm left alone and far from my loved ones, say training in the jungle in Taiwan, freezing from being caught in the thunderstorm, hungry from not having enough food and tired from pushing myself physically and mentally...without warning my mind will transport me into that Secret Place, and I'll feel a familiar pain...

'You're welcome to, if you want to stay...But everyone just runs away'
I wish that sometimes, the people that matter could step in my shoes for once and feel what I feel. That they would get transported into my Secret Place where I'll gladly welcome them. But if only they knew what I felt, they would be scared off by it...and just run away from it, leaving time to do the dirty work instead of just settling it in an amicable manner.

'Let me in... Get me out....Can't do more than twist and shout'
I desire to get into that Zone, if only to glimpse or re-live those moments with those persons who matter...yet, it is pure mental and emotional torture to go running through those moments in your mind and knowing that it's never gonna happen again...

'Lost my soul without a trace...Found it again in my secret place...In disgrace'
I've been guilty of some bad things in my life.Where I've forgotten myself completely and gotten involved in things I shouldn't be getting involved in.In short, I've lost my soul. In moments of love and emotion, adrenaline and testosterone pumps. I should have held a tight rein on it. In the end, I found myself...disgraced.

'I hide from those that try to find me...Scary things that's right behind me'
There are those, who up till this day, still have unfinished business with me. They try to find me and they rape my privacy, depriving me of my right to keep my counsel to myself. Although it would be nice if everything was in perfect black and white, sometimes things just take a shade of gray, and somethings should be left to be covered up by the passage of time...please don't pursue what is not meant to be.

'I lost myself, I must confess...I can't explain how I got this mess'
The wonder of relationships is that sometimes when I'm lonely,there's no one to keep me company. But when I'm not looking for it, multiple people come into my life, seeking to establish a union with me, getting me entangled in a web of false hopes and broken hearts. For both me and the multiple people.

Goodbye 1000 times goodbye
The thought never crossed my mind
That this would be my last goodbye
Let me put pennies on your eyes
And kiss your lips one last goodbye
My love 1000 times goodbye

Tpiderman!

Sometimes I wonder why children, young boys in particular, fantasize about being Superheroes. Is it a condition exclusive only to young boys? Or do little girls suffer (suffer?) from it too? Fantasize about becoming Barbie perhaps? Help me out here please. My puzzlement stems from observing my nephew Zulfikri's fantastic (yes, fantastic) obsession with Spiderman...or as he pronounces it, Tpiderman. The boy's obsessed with our friendly neighbourhood overgrown red-and-blue arachnid. And often he refers to Tpiderman BLACK (which I can only assume is Venom), Tpiderman BROWN, Tpiderman GREEN, Tpiderman WHITE, Tpiderman PINK (geez!)...God knows what all these are. He has a Spiderman towel, Spiderman suit, Spiderman bag, Spiderman underwear... and everything Spidey where you wouldn't normally want a spider! So what aroused this thought-provoking question you ask? Well, it all arises from the dialogue between Zulfikri and his grandad, my father, Mr. Zullkefle (that's Tok Ayah to him)...

Fikri: Tok Ayah pakaikan nie baju nie! (takes out SpideySuit from his drawer)
Tok Ayah: Eh Fikri takmo pakai tu, kiter masih nak pergi jalan², nak gi jalan mana bole pakai baju Spiderman!
Fikri: Pichi (Fikri...he pelat lah) nak pakai nie la Tok Ayah...Pichi (Fikri) nak pakai nie! Tpiderman trong(strong)!
Tok Ayah: Tak bole pakai tu la, tu Spiderman, Spiderman strong, nanti orang takut, nanti tak bole masok rumah orang!
Fikri: Tpiderman trong(strong), nanti Tpiderman bole tumbuk pintu nanti kiter bole matok (masok) !
Tok Ayah: *Lost for words*

Kids nowadays. Hero-worshipping the wusses.
Me, I was always RoboCop.
"I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider Man!" "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"