FIRE IN MY POCKET!!!

OMG. I just spent like my entire NS pay today, after only getting my money in last week!

I spent the entire day shopping today. What's that you say? How out of character of me? OH YES.
Woke up @ 930 am today. Left my house for Ubi CDC, to register for my bike licence. YES! Finally I'm taking the first step to having a bike licence. Hahah! Ssssh. Don't tell my mom k.
Registration cost 80 bucks, plus an initial injection of 300 bucks into my account...cue expenses so far:

$80+$300= $380 (Motorbike expenses)

After that, I left for Sim Lim towers to recce me a phone. I desperately need a non-camera phone for in-camp use by this week, since I'm gonna be off to the Tekong jungle for the next 2 weekends, but I didn't wanna pay for a ciplak phone, I wanted me a quality one that could last me a long time. So I went to Sim Lim...spent some time there, then drove off to Mustaffa with Hikmah in tow to recce the prices there, and in the end went back to Sim Lim since it turned out Mustaffa was more expensive. So I'm now a proud owner of a Sony Ericsson W950i, and it cost:

$370 (phone) + $50 (warranty) + $31.50 (7% GST)= $451.50
Total Expenditure thus far (gulp!) :
$380 (Motorbike expenses) + $451.50 (Phone package)= $831.50 ( O_O )

However, I'm not done yet. I spent a further 33 big un's on an A/V cable for my Creative Zen Vision:M, and another 30 ketuls fillin' up the old girl with petrol, and 7 gongs to give her a gd wash N' scrub, which leads my expenses to (double gulp!):

$831.50 (Total transactions so far) + $33 (A/V cable) + $30 (petrol) + $7 (car wash) = $901.50 ( O_O !!!)

OH MY PUCK. That's MORE than my NS pay! That means I've cut into my savings. Oh mannn. This is suck. Thankfully I'm in the jungle for the next 2 weekends, that'll help keep my costs down. Argh I've got so many things I need to get, yet so little financial resources...arghhhh.

And dang. I forgot to factor in the Burger King meal I had for lunch.

27...watwatwat?

OMG. I can't believe I just allowed myself to get forced into watching a CHICKFLICK.

I spent the evening with my cousins at Kak Muni's house, and circa 2230h, Shahmi called me up asking if I got any plans for the night and if not, whether I'm game to watch a movie. Hah! Of course, me being me, I'm game on and so Shahmi rattled off a list of movies. However, the 2 girls wanted to watch...OF ALL THINGS... 27 DRESSES. I mean, wtf is that? How could a movie called 27 Dresses... evidently about dresses, what else... be any fun to watch? I mean I'd rather watch grass grow...

I protested of course, and Shahmi admitted that it's a chickflick, though he tried his best to assure me that it would be fun. And me, being always willing to go through crazy things for family's sake, I agreed to go along for the 2345h show with the 2 girls and him. So I drove us off to Tampines Mall. I was so embarassed to be watching a chickflick that when I ordered the tickets, I stammered and uttered 'Ummm....4 tickets for the...the...ummm 27 thing.' That earned me a nudge in my shoulder by Hikmah and both she and Kak Muni took liberties laughing at me. Sheesh. Thanks ah man.

BUT OH WOW. I didn't know it would turn out the way it did. The movie was actually quite entertaining! And the pretty cast of actresses didn't hurt my eyes one single bit either. Hahah! I mean, the last chickflick I can remember watching was probably 2004's Honey featuring Jessica Alba and even then, DESPITE featuring the delectable Jessica Alba, I watched it only because I had agreed to escort Kak Muni. So you can imagine the surprise I got when I actually found myself hooked to the movie, and rooting for Jane (Jayne? *winks* =D ) in her quest to find real love. OMG Man Hikam. What's coming into you. And to add to that, Hikmah heads-up'ed me a little fun fact: Katherine Heigl, who plays Jane (Jayne? =D =D), she's actually starring in Grey's Anatomy! Hoho! And I didn't even know... that's how out of touch I am with television. Heh.

After this experience, I might just open up abit more to chickflicks...
Though I'll still draw the line at Hugh Grant.
Anything featuring him is an uh-uhhh.

TKH First Game after 3 Months

Yes you read that right.

Team Kental Habis, otherwise known as TKH, finally managed to group up again after our last game circa somewhere during Ramadan...which was what, some 3 months ago?

And so it came to pass, that Al Capitan Yusry, he organized a game @ Bowen Secondary in Hougang... which has a brilliant pitch I tell you. I felt like a professional footballer stepping onto the nicely carpeted turf, demarcated with clear, white lines. But of course, Aizad and me,we came late...fashionably late I might add... so the team had to start without us. Heh. Against a ciplak Man Utd impostor team wearing white Man Utd jerseys.Heh heh.

The game started off with a flourish, with TKH gaining the upper hand soon after the starting whistle. Before long, we went 2-1 up, and just as we were looking to set the tempo of the game, the referee halted it in lieu of the dangerously inclement weather. It was a royal Cat 1 situation, with dark clouds for miles out and lightning flashing accentuated by thunder. Pretty freaky I tell you. Having adjourned the game for about half an hour, the referee resumed play, albeit with the pitch rather waterlogged and the weather still not quite healthy.

Half time came, with TKH up 4-1 against the other team, I got no idea what they're called. Incredibly though, although we controlled the 2nd half, a combination of misfortune and a series of incredible individual mistakes allowed the opponents to catch up 4-4, and the game ended 5-7!
Incredibar! What a game. Goals galore, but unfortunately we lost. Oh well...

Til next time, Aggression & Flair,
TKH!

Backlogged Pictures

Here are some of the pics from CuzzenHencemJambu Clan's outing to Singapore Science Centre and also our sending off at the airport of our cuzzens from Brunei...~

Helping a freaked-out Fikri up

Butting in on the girls' pic...heheheh

Hello Mummy

Eldest was mesmerised with this...

elder kept looking at this...
I LOVE this......and my sister was awed by this!!! antique handphones!!! Wtf?

Abang² bergs. HAHAThe CuzzenHencemJambu Clan

Shaggeddd =(

FINALLY! That's it. I'm not doing enlistment duty at SFT any longer. Whole day standing around from 6am trying to usher in the parents as they come in bus by bus,wave by wave, like the ocean. Raising my voice, doing public speaking to several buses of parents briefing them on the procedure on how to enter Pulau Tekong. All this for 12 hours straight.

And then of course, there was the Tornado.

The whole focus of the day was the enlistment of the Tornado's son, at 1130am. Hours before, his bodyguards in civilian plainclothes attire and some of them looking impressively like typical cheekopeks recce-d the place, briefing us on the various security measures in place. The 3-crab colonel and even a one-star Brigadier General came down just for this occasion. A friggin' one-star! At SFT of all places. There's a rare sight.

And then he came, in the middle car in a convoy of 3 cars with Traffic Police escort. His vehicle of choice was impressively... normal, a family wagon, complete with very average joe licence plates. So much the better for keeping things low-key...if not for the convoy and the Traffic Police escort of course. He breezed through in like a gust of wind and disappeared into the ferry. His son looking impressively like a miniature version of him, but lacking the hunched posture of the dadday.

Once the Tornado's hit the island, we breathed a sigh of relief because now we could relax abit. Could we? Nooo, 'cos them parents just kept coming. I swear I didn't know one could get this tired just from standing around. From 6am-6pm I kept repeating the same old briefing. Haiz.

I wonder if his son will be treated any differently? For sure no one would admit to giving him preferential treatment, but I do suspect his company would suddenly uncharacteristically be welfare... Hmmm.

Alhamdulillah we didn't cock-up. Not during the Tornado anyway.

Tornado!~

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An Eyeful A Day Keeps the Doctor Away?

Oh Wow. Now it's medically proven then. An eyeful of urm... fats a day keeps the doctor away!

Now there is no excuse for us guys NOT to look at women... and even less reasons for women not to allow their partners to ogle at other scrumptious senoritas...after all, we're only following Doctor's orders. Haha! According to the article, "Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym". Continuing, " A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful". But of course, Zulhikam is not going to do such a thing, oh good God no. ASTARGHFIRULLAHALAZIM, DOSA tau. Zulhikam is going to keep fit and healthy the conventional way by eating well, and exercising, and not smoking. Besides, staring at such... assets might just earn us a tight slap across the face. Yes yes. No looking at...at... busty beauties, voluptuous vixens or fleshy females. Yes. Well... maybe not so much. I AM a man after all =D Speaking of being a man...

Pretty Faces Get Men's Brains Going
http://www.goofigure.com/UserGoofigureDetail.asp?gooID=6428

"A beautiful woman's face is like chocolate, cash or cocaine to a young man's brain, according to Harvard University researchers. Their brain-imaging study revealed that while young heterosexual males are indeed capable of finding beauty in another man's face, only a lovely female visage can set off the "reward centres" in their brains.

When men in the study were shown pictures of various faces, only the female faces deemed beautiful triggered activity in brain regions previously associated with food, drugs and money, according to findings published in the November 8th issue of Neuron. The unique effect of the comely female face occurred despite the fact that the men also rated some male faces as "beautiful."

"It looks like there can be a difference between what the brain 'likes,' an image that is judged to be attractive, and what the brain 'wants,' something that is regarded as a reward in and of itself," study author Dr Hans Breiter, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, said in a statement. In their experiments, the researchers first asked a group of men to rate how attractive they found the faces - which, unbeknownst to the participants, had already been placed into the categories "beautiful" or "average." The men's ratings, it turned out, fell in line with the categories, and attractive male faces garnered ratings similar to attractive female faces.

But in the next phase of the study, men in another group were allowed to control how long they viewed a particular face by pressing a key. Breiter's team found that they "expended effort" to see the beautiful female faces for a longer time, but for all other faces they tried only to "make the faces disappear faster." Finally, in a third group of men studied with brain imaging known as functional MRI, the investigators found that only the attractive female faces set off the brain's "reward circuitry."

"It's particularly interesting that the attractive male faces actually produced what could be considered an aversion response, even though they had been recognised as attractive," Breiter said. His co-author, Dr Nancy Etcoff, noted that this research echoes previous work suggesting the human perception of beauty may be "in-born." "While we know that experience, learning and personal idiosyncrasies all have an impact on attraction between particular individuals, these results show that this basic reward response is deeply seated in human nature," she said in a statement.

Source: New Zealand Herald November 10, 2001 via Reuters

I love being a man.

Jam-Packed Weekend Part Deux

SUNDAY. I had my day all planned out.
Or so I thought.
And as the Army loves to say, "I thought, you think...who confirm?"

Woke up at 11+AM shagged after yesterday's exploits. Had a jamming date with my fellow ATM members Hifzie and Fauzie, with Shafie also at 1300hrs at Bugis MRT. I had a cohesion family makan outing with my brother-in-law's side @Johor later that night after Maghrib, and in between jamming and Malaysia I had planned on hitting Beach Road to get me an SCDF Fieldpack backpack which I had been eyeing for a few months already.

So imagine my annoyance when my mom told me that we were leaving for Johor immediately after Zohor!!! Now all my plans had to be cancelled mgnmgnmgnmgn. I couldn't possibly back out of the jamming date, my pals were counting on me. Fortunately my eldest brother had a meeting and would be leaving for Johor with his family at a later time, so I arranged to hitch a hike on his car. Hitch-a-hike eh. COOL. Just came off the top of my head there.

And so we jammed, at some anonymous hole-in-the-wall studio at Bugis. Hifzie had proposed a setlist of what is mostly Hard Rock and Rock Melayu numbers, including Don't Cry and Sweet Child O' Mine from Guns N' Roses, and Cintamu Mekar Di Hati and Sendiri from May...and also the evergreen Sejati from Wings. It would have been a hell lot more enjoyable if not for the very, very poor quality of instruments and equipment provided. I even broke a string from bending too hard on a rusty one! Sssshhh k!... O_O

After jamming for maybe 1.5 hrs, I decided I COULD maybe squeeze in some time and hit Beach Road, so we set off on Bus No. 11 (that's Army-speak for infantry soldiers walking on foot, for the uninitiated) walked off course, before finally locating Beach Road. I got my fieldpack, but I hadn't eaten breakfast nor lunch, and was well hungry, yet I had no time 'cos my Beg Fan was waiting at the carpark, so I tapau-ed a Beef Bistik and devoured it like a hungry dog inside the car. This was followed by a donut, and some Baskin' Robbins ice-cream at Malaysia. I told ya I was eating much nowsaday. Incredibly sinful food.

Or so I thought. More sinful was the food that was to come later that night. We set off for our favourite makan haunt @ Kampung Senibung, just across the Straits of Johor from Singapore, and on the menu that night was Steamed Fish, Chilli Crab, GIGANTIC Butter Prawns, La-la (what do they call this in English I wonder?), Stingray... woah, my mouth's drooling just reminiscing of the food. I'm incredibly lucky I have the type of body that just won't get fat no matter what I eat, and I guess an active sporty lifestyle doesn't hurt either. Oh man I'm getting hungry againnn... I could use the cookies and brownies promised in my mouth right now~ ^_^"

Reached home about midnight, and I scrambled to prepare everything to book in to camp the next morning, and I ended up sleeping at 1+AM. And to think that I have to catch the early 0645 fastcraft mannn! That is suck ah.

So that's my weekend. How has YOURS been?

Jam-Packed Weekend

Okay. I hardly have time to breathe here, so let me catch my breath abit.

The past weekend has been strangely packed for me, I prefer my weekends relaxed.

OK, in case you got no idea what in the world I'm talkin' about, let me begin. I booked out on Sat noon, and was all primed, psyched up and ready to play in the first TKH game in months later that day. However, as per the usual in recent times, my hopes were penyek-ed, as I was informed by team captain Yusry that the game was cancelled. However, he asked me along for a kickabout session at East Coast's futsal turf in the evening. So, while awaiting the time, I went to the Nokia Care Centre at Century Square to get my handset repaired. Which of course, they didn't. Waited close to 2 hours waiting time too! Mgnmgnmngmgn.

So, the next big thing to look forward to was the futsal kickabout. Drove to East Coast, kicked, dribbled and shot my way through a few matches, earned another excellent bruise on my right shin just as the one on my left was recovering, and left the place with Yusry as my date to the Clan's barbecue. Hey, they DID mention to bring along someone. And Yusry is as much a Clanner as anyone...

Anyhoo. Tong's place was humongous! It's the one in front of Masjid Taqwa. As I greeted my fellow Clanners, I found that the ladies were having a cohesion session with each other inside while the guys were chillin' out outside. Ah, I see the Clan is still observing proper Muslim etiquette. Alhamdulillah~ Needless to say, the usual crude boy jokes which abounded doesn't count as improper of course...heh.

Time ticked-tocked its way down to midnight, and Nawaz was panicking because he had to send his girl back all the way to Boon Lay before it was too late. Feeling a conscience, I volunteered to drive them to Boon Lay, so as not to get my buddy into trouble. After all, I wouldn't want my 23-year old friend to get into trouble for bringing his 17 year-old girlfriend back home too late would I? And yes Nawaz, after finally meeting your girlfriend instead of just seeing her pictures, I have to agree with you that she's darn JAMBU HOT ah! Haha. Good choice mate~ ;) I wish I'll get that lucky too someday...

For some reason Nawaz was thanking me profusely for that gesture, so he proposed that I drove us to SIMPANG BEDOK (AHEM) to treat me to a nice warm mug of teh tarik. In the end, we tapau-ed 12packets of the warm sweet beverage to bring back to Tong's to share with our brothers. As the guys settled down to a game of Cluedo after all the ladies have left, I left Tong's house as it was alerady 1 AM in the morning and I wanted to catch the Man Utd-Aston Villa FA Cup match at home...

So that's my Saturday. Stay tuned for Sunday's tale!

Cho bo lan?

TODAY IS SAF BMTC MOVIE GALA DAY!!!

Timing to be met: 0745 h @ LIDO Shaw Towers.

Working backwards, Reveille: 0545 h.

Keen to avoid getting extra duties from my superiors for coming late for external school/unit events (ahem Nabil), I woke up at the ungodly time of 0545 hrs, mindful to make it in time at LIDO Shaw Towers by 0745 h. I made good time, collected my goodie bag of snacks and ticket, and entered the cinema. Only to find that printed on the ticket stub, the first of the 2 movies playing will be shown at 0940hrs. NINE-FORTY AM SIAAA. And I woke like 4 hrs earlier just to meet the 'registration' timing of 0745 h uh!!! Mgmngmnmgmgmgn.

Anyhoo, the 'missing' 1.5 hrs or so was filled by games initiated by the emcee, along with lucky draws that unfortunately bore no fruit for me. Nor DVD player. Nor PSP 3. Nor LCD TV. Oh shucks. The first show to be played was "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets", and the movie didn't disappoint, though I would have much liked for there to have been more of the conspiracy theories and Masonism and whatnot. And oh! I wanna read about the secrets of Area 51 too!!! heh. And oh oh !!! The female lead is smokin' uh! Whatsername... Diane Kruger? Mmmm.

Movie ended at ard 12pm, with a lunch intermission before the 2nd screening, "I Am Legend", at around 2pm. I couldn't catch that one because my company commanders, we all had to go back to Pulau Tekong for the route march later on in the afternoon. That is suck ah. I didn't get to Solat Jumaat ( =( ), I didn't get to watch I Am Legend... and to think I puasa and tahan for the entire month of December just for this day la! Go back Tekong just for a route march...which I'm not even participating in uh! My shin's still bruised. Ow. Not muscle bruised, but BONE bruised. Ow ow. Not to mention my sprained ankle. Ow ow ow. Eeeee that sounds so ngada-ngada~

So wad's an injured PS to do? Hitching a ride on my CSM's car, once upon reaching Tekong I switched to my admin attire, and proceeded to just blast loud music in my office while eating cup noodles and reading newspaper. Nothing left to do for the rest of the day, really. So I just Cho Bo Lan. Did some re-planning for tomorrow, now that the TKH match has been cancelled. Planned to go jam, but no time, so I'm sending my watch (My G-SHOCK dieded!) AND handphone (cannot SMS!) for repair tomorrow, before enjoying myself at The Clan's Barbecue @ Aizat Tong's house tomorrow. I'm supposed to bring a girl along of course, everyone's bringing their partner, it's an introduction cum cohesion session, but since I'm unattached, I'm not inclined to invite anyone... not gonna let 'em know I have anyone in mind and at heart. Haha.

I'M SORRY CLANNERS!

MOWTHEBUCKS WHATTHEPUCK JITTERBUG!

Dear all, here's a question: Where do you usually find ants, a colony of ants at that, complete with ant eggs and practically, a nest?

I'm sure you'd answer things like 'in the jungle'...or 'on the field' or even...'a house'.

SO WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN ENTIRE ARMY OF ANTS DOING IN MY PAIR OF SOCCER BOOTS!!! %@E*&JKORS&T@E*T(@SY !!! MOWTHEBUCKS!!!

I was packing up my Nike Mercurial Talaria's Chrome/Blue boots into my bootbag to bring to Pulau Tekong later on when I book in, when I noticed some ants on my boots. Curious, I investigated the boots under the light, only to find to my horror there were ants crawling all over my boots! Ye Gads! So I rushed my boots to the toilet and washed them in hot water. Still them degil temuts crawled all over my boots, they didn't wanna die those idiots. Similanciaaao. Wondering why, I lifted up the insoles of my boots...only to find TO MY HORROR THAT THE INSIDE WAS EVEN WORSE!!! And there were EGGS!!! EGGS SEH!!! GODDAMN DOUBLE BONGOK ANTS! And all that my boots have ever gone to are various football fields !!! (duh.) And the last place I used them was the field at Tekong Stadium!!! And and it wasn't even wet! And and and there weren't like dead insects inside or anything.

THEY JUST APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE!!! MARANGPRAPUKEPONTENMARANGSCAPER BETOI !!!

THIS MEANS WAR. I don't care. Ain't no ant gonna mess with Zulhikam. I'm gonna pour Oral B inside my boots. And throw my boots AND my shinpads into the dryer. If Oral B solution and the heat of the dryer isn't gonna kill them mgnmngmngmnmgngn, then I don't know what to do.

MNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNMGN!!!

Testosterone, Adrenaline & Caffeine

OK so yesterday was the Family Day event at Jurong Waterpark or whatchamacallit. Where wives and girlfriends are invited, and we guys are required to go in swimming trunks, and not even board shorts are allowed. WTF right. So, I didn't go. Where I did go was, was Tampines Polyclinic. As you all know I had a very intimate encounter with a red-hot siren a few days back also known as a fire hydrant, and I had yet to see a doctor, so I guess the time was ripe enough to seek medical attention.

I was relieved to find out that my left shin suffered nothing more than incredible bruising the length of the bone. At least its not a fracture or a broken something-or-other. Mmm strong bones! My right leg though, was as I had suspected: I had a sprained ankle. This could only mean one thing... I had best be careful with what I did.

So naturally that very same afternoon, I played soccer. Just couldn't resist it, a chance to meet up with The Clan once again and just have a guys' day of fun. We played well I guess, so well that we lost to a team of little kids, and Adam even sustained an injury. Talk about adding insult to injury! We didn't want to play physical with them kids, who weren't even old enough to shave and fantasize about girls, yet in the end they ran circles around us. SHEESH. Thanks ah kids.

I had planned to meet up with my bro Hilmi after that later at night, but he couldn't make it, so once again The Clanners, we hanged out, heading for The Saffrons at Tampines Central there to have a bite of maggie mee goreng with telur mata lembu. There we linked up with Adam and Aizad while Nawaz left early to settle urm his girl. Him and his girl problems. Haha. Who would have thought I'd finally come across the time when Nawaz had girl issues eh. Anyhoo, after that, I hitched a ride on Aizat Tong's red Honda Jazz to Mak's Place, only to realize that it was closed, before heading to Mosi's Cafe @ Arab Street, with Adam, Aizad and Azhar making their way there on their respective bikes. Down the alley, a bunch of mats and minahs were busy making noise, drunk stupid on alcohol. It embarasses me, this behaviour, especially when the Middle Eastern waiter leant close to me and asked "Sorry, may I ask: Malays are not supposed to drink alcohol right? So why are they drinking?"

Astarghfirullahalazim. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

And so on the stroke of midnight, on 010108, I can be found at Arab Street. Mosi Cafe's first customers of the new year! Having had our fill, we proceeded to Aizat Tong's house to "recce" his house for a suitable spot to hold our barbecue this coming Saturday when the various members of The Clan will catch up on lost time and introduce their significant others to...well, The Clan. There, I tried out Adam's Gilera bike for the first time and I thought I was doing well, until I lost control of the bike and the bike fell to the left. Kauz Adam was like hopping mad with me ah. But as the time-tested saying goes, "Blood is Thicker Than Fuel", so in the end he accepted my sincerest apologies and we proceeded to Simpang Bedok to have yet more food and teh. At last count, I must have visited like 3 different eating spots in one night, Mak's Place notwithstanding 'cos it was closed. Haha boys/men will forever be perpetually hungry.

I came home something like around 4am in the morning after an afternoon and evening of testosterone, adrenaline and caffeine, and ended up sleeping only at around 5+ AM Subuh time after helping someone.

Now don'tcha wish YOUR life was exciting like mine? =D

Selamat Tahun Baru & Happy New Year!!!
May our lives be blessed by Allah.
Amin.

Had a weird dream today. A very long one, and it seemed all too real. A dream of you. It's bugging me no end.