CENSORED

Disclaimer: It is illegal to copy, save, or distribute the images contained herein for personal or public consumption. The images below are purely for Zulhikam's private consumption and are not to be taken as an indication of his sexuality or sexual preferences. Any likenesses or similarities to any existing person, alive or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.

Copyright © Zulhikam 2008 @ www.hikamnyesongey.blogspot.com

Uncovered! The moment you have been waiting for... keep asking me for... by popular demand... Pictures of the Bachelorette Party as mentioned in the entry on

Sunday, February 17, 2008 !!!

Welcome

Girls Gone Wild

Mmm...food

Menjeng Girls

The Bride-to-Be

And when the Heroes come marching in at night...

Arrival of The Men
The 3 SoldiersReal Men Wear PINK !!!
Charlie's...Chippendales?
Harry Potter's Magic BroomstickGay is IN
Playgirl Special Edition February 2008
Admiring our efforts...hahaha

Of Fears and Disappointments

Sad week it's been for me. So many things going on in my life now, so many tests and challenges, so many unanswered questions and unresolved issues. It's mentally and emotionally trying. So many setbacks.

Got into a confrontation with a colleague for interfering with my platoon. Not 'friend' mind you. Colleague. Almost got into a fistfight. Lucky I'm not stupid enough to lay a finger on the bugger despite all his threats, trash-talk and poking fingers into my chest. Tough-talking youth naivety.

I'm disappointed with my platoon. Had to ban them from smoking, for defying my orders a second time not to ask for a smoke break from anyone but ME. Which explains the altercation above.

Had to confine one of them for smoking without my permission even after I had imposed the ban, and in an unauthorized area at that, namely, the toilet. I hate to do it, but I have to take action against him. I am after all, the platoon's disciplinarian. Has to do with the matter stated above this.

A-Levels results were released. My recruits did well, mostly. More power to them. As for my friends, I'm glad a lot of them did better than me, better than my batch in general, and I'm happy for them. Yet I'm sad for those who didn't get their desired outcome, and even more disappointed at how they are responding to this disappointment. It's never my intention to rub it in or something, but I care, therefore I ask. At least everyone else I've asked replied decently.

I got into my first ever accident in 2 years of driving.

Was running late for my bike practical lesson, so I drove to CDC. Entered a small lorong trying to find parking space, did a reverse into a workshop while executing a 3-point turn, when suddenly there was this loud bang. My first reaction was to drive off especially when I saw several men rushing out of the workshop, but the moral stigma was eating away at me, not to mention the fact that it would be dosa. I should mention that I was extremely terrified at that point in time, so I sped off, before coming to my senses and parking the car somewhere to face the music like a man.

It cost me a cool $120 to settle the issue with the owner of the car. Ouch. And that's not even inclusive of the cost of repairing the damage to my dad's car. Ouch Ouch. Syukur Alhamdulillah I was fine and no-one was hurt.

And oh yeah. Man U lost to Portsmouth 1-0 at home @Old Trafford. 'Nuff said.

Still, I mustn't let all these get to me. After all, despite not being able to focus on my riding lesson after the accident, I still managed to pass Prac 2 the first time, and progress on to Prac 3 next week, so I guess that's a reason to celebrate.

And Chelski lost to lowly Barnsley 0-1. Definitely reason enough to celebrate.

Late Nights In, Late Mornings Up

Week's been pretty slack, due to most us completing most major events. Yet it is with great relish that I greet Friday, 'cos it means the weekend is coming!

So what did I do? Having booked out around 9+pm, I reached home circa 10+pm. Ate awhile, showered... then at around 12+am, I linked up with Adam at Tampines Interchange to hop onto his Gilera bike to go...play football at The Cage@Kallang at 1am.

Yes, play football at 1am.

Azhar had organized a reunion for the VS Maelstrom boys, and as usual, what better way to spend the time together as a band of brothers than playing football? The usual suspects were there, Azhar the pantat jack, eFinZ the now-Suria superstar, Ikhmal the now-skinny boy, Fid Monday, Faisal Band, Zulhairi who's also my fellow TKH team-mate and Sophan anak Suria nye boss. Completing the VS presence there were my fellow Clanner Adam, who's 2 years my senior, and surprisingly, the long-missing Mirza, one year my elder.

We played against some aggressive and highly skillful opponents, at a very,very high tempo. You can imagine the fatigue I must have felt, having just booked out after a week in-camp and having to run my legs off and avoiding sliding tackles at 1+am in the morning. We played till 330am, and called it a day. It feels great to meet up with the boys once again though! No time for girls, but for Maelstrom, I'll make time.

Had to wake up early the next morning because I had my bike practical at noon. And whaddyaknow? I met Azwani! I seem to have a knack of bumping into her at all the strangest places. At her school in TP, at Pulau Tekong, at IKEA, and now at CDC. Apparently its her first-ever bike practical, and she took the same lesson with me. And hahah! I finally managed to pass my Pract 1 after 3 times! Sheesh. Had to repeat Pract 1 twice before I finally managed to progress to Pract 2. Bummer. But Alhamdulillah, I did not take as long as some of my friends who had to repeat 5-6 times. I left CDC and made my way to my dad's car only to discover that...

...I'VE EARNED (earned?) MY FIRST EVER SAMAN !!! -.- "

Sheesh. My first ever parking summons or traffic offence in 2 years of driving. $30 bucks, down the hole. All because I didn't display a lousy parking coupon. Yikes!
Immediately upon reaching home, I left with Shahmi to make our way over to Kak Syai's new home in Compassvale, where our manpower was needed in helping to spring-clean the new house. So I spent my Saturday vacuuming, mopping and assembling the bed for the master bedroom. Pretty nice place I must say. Abang Herman bought tubs of ice-cream and we tucked in, before I left at 10+pm just in time to catch the Man U-Fulham game.

Speaking of which, United spanked Fulham's sorry butt 3-0!!! =)
With what was largely a reserve team, the goals came courtesy of Owen Hargreaves, Park Ji-Sung and... Simon Davies(og). Hoho.

Yet, Arsenal managed to equalize and maintain their position with the very last kick of their game. Someday...someday soon...

SNABS messaged me asking me to support her in her dance competition by coming down to Vivo Amphitheatre. Sorry babe, I can't make it today due to commitments, but I'll certainly support ya! Good luck! And I'm all for u too, Nis~...

Wotta Wikkid Weekend!

YOWZA!!! This is like quite possibly one of the best weekends I've ever had. I'll tell you why.

1) Friday night after booking out, I went to catch a movie at Plaza Singapura. Came home at 2+ am? Took the NR7 bus and walked abt 2km plus home. Watched that Deathnote spin-off, "L Change the World". The movie was okaylah, I had to to be nudged awake once but a good way to start the weekend nonetheless.

Saturday was chill pill day for me, I thought I had a bike practical lesson, but turns out I forgot to book it so I was pretty much doing nothing the entire day.

2) The Arse drew with Birmingham 2-2!!! You should have seen William Gallas's reaction to the penalty and goal conceded. The Arse's cohesion is breaking up! And to top it off, Eduardo has been ruled out for the rest of the season due to a mangled + broken ankle!!! Well I certainly don't take pleasure in someone else's misfortune, but 1 less player for Arses means a better chance for my beloved Man Utd to retain the Premiership crown...

3) ...and United didn't disappoint! We gave Newcastle a well good spanking on their baby bottoms with a 1-5 drubbing in front of their own supporters. Rooney and Ronaldo were wikkid and tat was almost the perfect result to mirror the reverse fixture last month at Old Trafford where United...Manchester United that is... pardon my French, dick-slapped Newcastle 6-0. Oh wow. It could give a boy an orgasm.

4) I slept at 4am following Man U's heroics the previous night/morning. Woke up at 12pm, and at about 1+ pm, me and Beg Mal took the bike to go to Singapore Airshow 'cos we had free tickets. We missed the aerial display by the Black Knights, but that's ok, since they've been practising their acrobatics literally above my head for the past week at Pulau Tekong anyway. And the show didn't really feature anything that I haven't already seen at previous airshows. The one pointedly missing aspect of the airshow is that there weren't any Russian fighters on display, and those were the ones I was really looking forward to see, especially the Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-29, Sukhoi Su-27/32/35, Kamov KA-50 Hokum Werewolf, Mi-28 Havoc and other assorted beasts of warfare. I would have really cried had the the aerial display which I missed had featured them Russian birds pulling off their distinctly-Russian trademark 'Cobra Strike' manoeuvre.

5) After the airshow, Beg Mal and me we rushed off back home to get my family car and my bro's car respectively to fetch them from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. After which, Beg Mal and me hopped on to his bike, sped our way to Fort Canning Park and paid $98.00 at the gate to watch...

IN CONCERT!!!

For the first time ever, the world-famous German speed-metal maestros were not stopping at Japan in their tour of Asia, and Singapore is now one of its stops. And they didn't disappoint!!!

Featuring the current line-up of Andi Deris on vocals, newboy Sascha Gerstner on guitar, Michael 'Weiki' Weikath on guitar, Markus Grobkopf on bass and newcomer Dani Loble hitting the skins, the band belted out favourites such as 'Halloween' as their opening song, 'Time Marches On', 'If I Could Fly', 'Sole Survivor', 'Where the Rain Grows', 'Eagle Fly Free', 'Power', 'A Tale That Wasn't Right', and of course, the undoubted highlight, 'I Want Out' amongst others. The crowd went wild, singing 'Happy Happy Helloween, Helloween, Helloween, Happy Happy Helloween, Oh oh oh oh!' to the tune of London Bridge, which has become a trademark at any Helloween live concert around the world.

It's amazing how Andi Deris could still hit those high notes and maintain his powerful voice despite having aged some, and Weiki demonstrated his unbelievable dexterity on the guitar despite having been around for quite a while yet. Grobkopf showed why he's one of the best bassists in the world, Loble demonstrated his technical prowess on the drums, pulling off rapid-fire hits on the double-pedal which mimicked the sound and intensity of machine-gun fire, and Gerstner showed just why Helloween picked him to replace Roland Grapow on lead guitar with his incredible ability and 'feel' on the guitar. The sound quality was unbelievable, and kudos to the sound technicians for pulling off the feat, despite Fort Canning's slopes and open area, which even Megadeth and Dream Theater couldn't quite match in their performances here respectively.

HELLOWEEN 2008

If I Could Fly

I Want Out

A Tale That Wasn't Right
Where The Rain Grows

Forever and One (Neverland)

Power

Somebody's upset that she didn't go to the concert. Somebody's upset 'cos one of her favourite bands is coming to Singapore for the first time ever, and she didn't go even though I asked her out with me. I had to satiate somebody by asking her to call me so she could listen in to the entire concert live and hear the crowd and me screaming. Hahah! My phone batt died because of that, u know. And the best part, my brother's friend, who was responsible for bringing in Helloween to Singapore, said that the bassist, Markus Grobkopf sent me and my brother his regards, or in his own words 'kirim salam', and the friend will be trying to get for us an autographed poster. Hear that, u? Next time, next time... =)

6) Last, but definitely NOT the least, was what happened after the Helloween concert. My bro and me we hopped onto his bike all the way to SIMPANG BEDOK (ahem), to have a late-night supper and to catch the Chelsea-Tottenham Hotspur Carling Cup Final. My bro is an ardent Spurs supporter, and I freaking hate Chelsea, so I told him that I was gonna be a Spurs supporter for 90mins. It took Spurs till first-half extra-time to get the killer goal, which means that I've over-extended my contract with Spurs, but it doesn't really matter, Chelsea didn't win and we made a ruckus at SIMPANG BEDOK (ahem ahem) jumping for joy till everyone looked at us. Hahah!

7) Aaand... I'm on OFF today!!! Woohoo! Super fun-filled long weekend which is VERY satisfactioning me, as Elvis Presley would sing.

Yet, one thing spoiled my weekend. One thing.

Cake =(

Bachelorette Party! *Hen's Night*

My cousin, Kak Nurul, she's gonna get married sometime next month. So the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan decided to hold for her a 'hen's night' so to speak, a bachelorette party to celebrate yet another one of us getting married. The girls organized the night at The Copthorne King's Hotel, and they were there the whole day, doing God-knows-what. We men were to join in after maghrib for dinner, while the girls were to spend the night. And you know what's the theme?

It's PINK la sia.

The girls were really going all out for it, even to the extent of proposing that the army boys, me and Shahmi, come dressed in our army uniform and to put on a show,slowly stripping down to our pink clothes a la Chippendale. Girls are crazy! Just because we're young men in our prime... sheesh. Well, wear PINK I certainly did, but to give a striptease performance, haha no =)

But goodness, the girls were certainly astounded by our Pink clothes. I came with my army bag, dressed in a cream-and-brown jacket. However, as soon as I stripped it off, jaws dropped. The room was literally silent. Then suddenly...

"OHMYGOD. HIKAM! Did I just see a tinge of colour... PINK???"

Haha. I guess the girls didn't really think I was sporty enough to wear Pink. Even my SISTER was amazed. I wouldn't blame her, considering my vehement distaste for all things that make a man look GAY. Well, I guess it takes confidence for a straight man to wear pink. HOT PINK at that. A colour that usually goes very well with latex. And in case you're wondering, I'm very much assured of my own sexuality, thank you very much. The best part was, walking around the Clarke Quay area in hot neon pink made me a real head-turner. Girls and guys alike were doing a double-take. Ikam in the house pimpin' y'all!

After which we proceeded to interrogate and grill the bride-to-be questions, though nothing too raunchy. After all, there were kids there. Minors. Hahah. Saved by minors.

Man U 4-0 Arse !!! =)

Chinese New Year Celebrations?

I sooo do NOT see the point of a second Chinese New Year gathering. And I'm not being racist. Allow me to explain myself. Firstly, last week we already had a school-level gathering. And now it's a gathering organized by the messes of School 1 and School 2. We really had no choice but to attend the function, and we had to wait for it to start at 1800 hrs and end at 2200 hrs!!! Whatthe... Everybody just cared only about booking out, even the Chinese ones. Whattheheck man.

And what do they have?

They had games... which was all fine and dandy. But they also had a skinny Chinese girl in a singlet and MAHA nye mini-skirt come up on stage to sing songs, and also a blonde belly dancer dressed in pretty much nothing but a bra and skirt, jiggling her... jigglypuffs. I swear I don't know what the relevance is to CNY. The worst part is, when she started dancing with the audience, although the young lads seemed very reluctant, the old married men were having the time of their lives dancing with her. Goodness.

And of course, there was the free consumption of Tiger Beer. I personally saw a Muslim colleague drink it and get high. Astarghfirullahalazim. And at the function last week, they gave each and everyone of us a hongbao. Guess what's inside? A bloody Toto ticket. I gave mine away.

I hate attending these majlis-majlis maksiat(s).
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As soon as I booked out, Kak Muni called asking if I wanted to hang out with her, Nabilah and Hikmah at Shaw for supper. So I went with Shahmi, one thing led to another and we ended up watching a midnight movie. ANOTHER CHICKFLICK!!! 'P.S. I Love You'

Darn it, I thought the movie was a ghost story, since the wife apparently received letters from her dead husband and all. How was I to know it's a godforsaken Chickflick. 30 mins into the movie, I fell asleep. I paid a weekend price to watch a movie in which I fell asleep! Shahmi didn't even make it that far. He fell asleep about 15 mins in. To quoth him,

"Takda cerita lagi lembab ker?"

Haha.

The next time I come across that movie title again, it better be from my recruits at the end of their BMT training, saying 'Platoon Sergeant, I Love You!'

Sa Ka Liao!

How would you feel if you were happily showering, lathering yourself down with soap and just relishing the coolness of the water streaming down your body... when suddenly this disgusting monster of a male barges into your cubicle and holds the door wide open, and you're struggling to cover your family jewels with one hand while the other is fighting to slam the door close in his face...

What would you do? You'd scream bloody murder and kill the faggot right?

There you go Nabil. There you go. In the words of my readers, by general consensus.

I AM SO GONNA KILL YOU.

Fag.

Painted In Black

Right. No-one shall mention to me anything about the Man United - Man City game anymore.

On to other things. Whoever said that rock and metal are all about sex, drugs and rock n' roll? Behold a Muslim band from Maldives with a song about the folly of living a hedonistic life and leaving your prayers undone...

Lived a wasted life since the day you were born
You lacked the sense to care
Time that waits for no man you just let it go by
But now its to late to care

Walls confine your mind just too narrow and blind
Darkness at you will stare
Ignorance that made you laugh you'll never realize
Your life is what it will tear

Your time is over there's no where to run
You lived it all but left your prayers undone
You're headed for and there's no turning back
Your past life is all just painted in black

Ooh Painted in black
Ooh Painted in

Evil that we see in you is the curse of the one inside you
You're the Devils lair
Chains that is holding your brain will lose it strength you'll die

Just one more breath to spare

Death is not the end you suffer endlessly
And there'll be no one to care
Then it'll be too late when you realize back there
A smile was what you did spare

Your time is over there's no where to run
You lived it all but left your prayers undone
You're headed for and there's no turning back
Your past life is all just painted in black

Ooh Painted in black
Ooh Painted in

Fasylive - Painted In Black

Keepin fit?

Woke up at 930 am today to play football with Beg Mal and his friends, all the way at Tanjong Pagar, at Duxton. I need to keep fit since I haven't been doing much running, and it kinda showed, 'cos after a few minutes I was already panting. GASP. Howeverrr, *note to self*: If you're pinning your keep-fit regime on playing football with a bunch of guys who're hitting 30, 3/4 of whom are married with children and you're the youngest there at 21 years old, it ain't much of a help. They got tired even earlier than I do. Hahah.

Had maggie goreng at some Mamak Shop in the CBD area, before heading off to Beg Fan's house to play with my two young hero bujangs, Zulfikri and Zulhilmi. And also to provide manpower to transfer a super-heavy television set to my uncle Cik Massba's house at Bedok Reservoir. See the advantages of having 2 brothers! Anytime manpower is needed, we are the ones providing muscle. *note to self*: I must have several sons. Hahah.

Man Utd vs Man City yo!
Can't wait to see if the 17 year-old Danny Welbeck is really gonna be playing.
Can only watch the first half because I have to book in tonight. Haiz.
Always Army interferes with my life.
Man Utd to win 2-0!

Vroom Vroom!

Okay so the day started off with me handing over my DOS duty to Shafik. Immediately went home 'cos I had my first bike Pract 1 at 1245pm. So I left it a little late...as usual... and began calling around my friends on what to bring for the lesson and stuff. Nawaz said I'm crazy for booking a Practical lesson immediately after doing my DOS duty. I think he fears I might fall asleep at the handles of the bike or something. Hahaha. Just for the record bro, I didn't. Haha.

I turned up at the registration counter some 10 mins ahead of time... only to be reprimanded by the instructor because apparently I was supposed to be there an hour ahead of time for orientation. Gee. How was I to know seh? I was rushed through the procedures and even bought them ugly durian gloves compulsory for the lesson from the canteen. Sheesh.

Made a new friend today. This pretty girl called Shahirah turned around, approached me and made small talk, and turns out she's also a first-time learner. Very friendly of her. Poor girl, she fell off the bike several times and had difficulty controlling the bike and its weight. Me? Thanks to my absence during the orientation period the hour before, I was pretty much clueless as to how this hunk of metal masquerading as a machine operated. Again, I was given a brief run-through, and for a person going through a crash-course, I did pretty ok I guess. I didn't fall off the bike or anything, though my fren did crash into my rear from behind around a bend. Urm okaaay that sounds wrong. Hahah.

And the cramps! No wonder the instructor led us for a warm-up exercise before the lesson. In trying to prevent the bike from tilting while stationary, I suffered butt cramps from exerting my gluteus maximus-es too much. It's no fun I tell you, having butt cramps and not being able to do anything about it because there are girls to your left and right. Yowza.

Next Pract next week! Woohoo I'm enjoying this =)

Happy CNY!

IT'S THE CHINESE NEW YEAR HOLIDAYS Y'ALL! And you know what THAT means.

That means I've got a super-long weekend!... aaand DOS duty on Friday. Chee. What a bummer. Guess my long weekend ain't gonna seem very long after all, 'cos I've gotta book in on Thursday and only hand over my duty on Saturday morning. And the screwed up part is, my entire extended family, including both my sis and bro-in-laws are going for a short trip to Malaysia! Dang. As my mom ruefully said, susah payah ibu dapatkan semua orang, ader jer kau ader duty la, kerja la. Bukannya senang tau nak dapatkan abang kau free sumer, lagi² the whole family dapat pergi. Haiz. Well, wait ibu, wait till I'm no longer addressed as 3SG Zulhikam, but Mr. Zulhikam =) I can't wait!

Oh, thanks for the Swensen's treat Syida! =) It's my turn to repay the favour. Stay tuned.

Went to Vivo to catch a 9:30pm movie, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street which I've been planning to watch for a long time. Speaking of which, I had a dream circa 3 weeks back, that our friend here Sweeney Todd was after me and he was literally chasing me with a parang on the streets at night, a la Freddy Krueger. That's friggin' scary uh. I don't wanna be made into a human pie. I must have forgotten to angkat my usual wudhu' before bedtime that night. Sheesh.

The movie ain't quite what I expected though. It's quite a different... experience. With about 70% of the movie consisting of... urm singing. Woah man. And truth be told, I quite enjoyed it. Woah man there Hikam. First, I watched a chickflick in 27 Dresses. Now, a musical. I'm really pushing myself and expanding my horizons mannn. It didn't hurt that the 2 female leads were pretty hot either! In tight corsets and makeup. Mmmmm. In the movie, Joanna the golden-haired lass exudes an innocent Rumpelstiltskin girl-next-door charm that was well... charming. Mrs. Lovett is a gothic wonder, sexy in a demented, perverse way, what with her pale skin and painted eyebags and heaving... u know. I read that Helena Bonham Carter was pregnant while portraying Mrs. Lovett. Well, I say you can't get anymore feminine than a pregnant woman! First she looked strangely pretty as a female monkey in Planet of the Apes. Then she looked hot as crazy Bellatrix Lestrange in Harry Potter. And now THIS! And oh yeah, the slitting of throats in the movie was very brutal. The exaggerated spurting of thick red blood was so spurious that it was funny. And that's a Tim Burton hallmark right there. To be able to portray the blood such that it seems theatrical, not violent takes some skill. Overall, brilliant movie I say wot?

My bike Practical 1 is coming up this Saturday! Woohooo! I...I...I... excite!

Welcome to the Jungle!

Alrighty then. Hands up those who's been wondering what's happened to me that I haven't been updating this blog. In other words, you miss me. Yes, YOU.

ARGH man. I would so love to say that I've been to the moon and back, been around the world a couple of times on vacation in the past 3 weeks or so, but the reality is that I've had my 2 feet firmly planted to the ground. VERY firmly planted to the ground. Proning on the ground even. Yes yes, I've been outfield. Spending my time with smelly recruits and wild animals instead of with family, friends and loved ones. Oh well. 9 more months to go.

Truth be told, I don't really like being outfield. My vocation and training calls for it, but I don't enjoy it. True, I get to see nature up close and personal, e.g. a family of wild boars crossing the road, a monitor lizard, scorpions, snakes, monkeys, giant ants, and walked face-first right into an even more gigantic spider's web...but all I really longed to see when I was outfield are women. Women with giant... smiles =) Yes that's right. Too much testosterone can be draining at times. balik² muka sama. Haha. You can rest assured I'm only like this when I'm outfield. Other times I'm pretty normal.

I need to catch up with my civilian life again. I'm lagging by 3 weeks! =(

...and we all die young.

FIRE IN MY POCKET!!!

OMG. I just spent like my entire NS pay today, after only getting my money in last week!

I spent the entire day shopping today. What's that you say? How out of character of me? OH YES.
Woke up @ 930 am today. Left my house for Ubi CDC, to register for my bike licence. YES! Finally I'm taking the first step to having a bike licence. Hahah! Ssssh. Don't tell my mom k.
Registration cost 80 bucks, plus an initial injection of 300 bucks into my account...cue expenses so far:

$80+$300= $380 (Motorbike expenses)

After that, I left for Sim Lim towers to recce me a phone. I desperately need a non-camera phone for in-camp use by this week, since I'm gonna be off to the Tekong jungle for the next 2 weekends, but I didn't wanna pay for a ciplak phone, I wanted me a quality one that could last me a long time. So I went to Sim Lim...spent some time there, then drove off to Mustaffa with Hikmah in tow to recce the prices there, and in the end went back to Sim Lim since it turned out Mustaffa was more expensive. So I'm now a proud owner of a Sony Ericsson W950i, and it cost:

$370 (phone) + $50 (warranty) + $31.50 (7% GST)= $451.50
Total Expenditure thus far (gulp!) :
$380 (Motorbike expenses) + $451.50 (Phone package)= $831.50 ( O_O )

However, I'm not done yet. I spent a further 33 big un's on an A/V cable for my Creative Zen Vision:M, and another 30 ketuls fillin' up the old girl with petrol, and 7 gongs to give her a gd wash N' scrub, which leads my expenses to (double gulp!):

$831.50 (Total transactions so far) + $33 (A/V cable) + $30 (petrol) + $7 (car wash) = $901.50 ( O_O !!!)

OH MY PUCK. That's MORE than my NS pay! That means I've cut into my savings. Oh mannn. This is suck. Thankfully I'm in the jungle for the next 2 weekends, that'll help keep my costs down. Argh I've got so many things I need to get, yet so little financial resources...arghhhh.

And dang. I forgot to factor in the Burger King meal I had for lunch.

27...watwatwat?

OMG. I can't believe I just allowed myself to get forced into watching a CHICKFLICK.

I spent the evening with my cousins at Kak Muni's house, and circa 2230h, Shahmi called me up asking if I got any plans for the night and if not, whether I'm game to watch a movie. Hah! Of course, me being me, I'm game on and so Shahmi rattled off a list of movies. However, the 2 girls wanted to watch...OF ALL THINGS... 27 DRESSES. I mean, wtf is that? How could a movie called 27 Dresses... evidently about dresses, what else... be any fun to watch? I mean I'd rather watch grass grow...

I protested of course, and Shahmi admitted that it's a chickflick, though he tried his best to assure me that it would be fun. And me, being always willing to go through crazy things for family's sake, I agreed to go along for the 2345h show with the 2 girls and him. So I drove us off to Tampines Mall. I was so embarassed to be watching a chickflick that when I ordered the tickets, I stammered and uttered 'Ummm....4 tickets for the...the...ummm 27 thing.' That earned me a nudge in my shoulder by Hikmah and both she and Kak Muni took liberties laughing at me. Sheesh. Thanks ah man.

BUT OH WOW. I didn't know it would turn out the way it did. The movie was actually quite entertaining! And the pretty cast of actresses didn't hurt my eyes one single bit either. Hahah! I mean, the last chickflick I can remember watching was probably 2004's Honey featuring Jessica Alba and even then, DESPITE featuring the delectable Jessica Alba, I watched it only because I had agreed to escort Kak Muni. So you can imagine the surprise I got when I actually found myself hooked to the movie, and rooting for Jane (Jayne? *winks* =D ) in her quest to find real love. OMG Man Hikam. What's coming into you. And to add to that, Hikmah heads-up'ed me a little fun fact: Katherine Heigl, who plays Jane (Jayne? =D =D), she's actually starring in Grey's Anatomy! Hoho! And I didn't even know... that's how out of touch I am with television. Heh.

After this experience, I might just open up abit more to chickflicks...
Though I'll still draw the line at Hugh Grant.
Anything featuring him is an uh-uhhh.

TKH First Game after 3 Months

Yes you read that right.

Team Kental Habis, otherwise known as TKH, finally managed to group up again after our last game circa somewhere during Ramadan...which was what, some 3 months ago?

And so it came to pass, that Al Capitan Yusry, he organized a game @ Bowen Secondary in Hougang... which has a brilliant pitch I tell you. I felt like a professional footballer stepping onto the nicely carpeted turf, demarcated with clear, white lines. But of course, Aizad and me,we came late...fashionably late I might add... so the team had to start without us. Heh. Against a ciplak Man Utd impostor team wearing white Man Utd jerseys.Heh heh.

The game started off with a flourish, with TKH gaining the upper hand soon after the starting whistle. Before long, we went 2-1 up, and just as we were looking to set the tempo of the game, the referee halted it in lieu of the dangerously inclement weather. It was a royal Cat 1 situation, with dark clouds for miles out and lightning flashing accentuated by thunder. Pretty freaky I tell you. Having adjourned the game for about half an hour, the referee resumed play, albeit with the pitch rather waterlogged and the weather still not quite healthy.

Half time came, with TKH up 4-1 against the other team, I got no idea what they're called. Incredibly though, although we controlled the 2nd half, a combination of misfortune and a series of incredible individual mistakes allowed the opponents to catch up 4-4, and the game ended 5-7!
Incredibar! What a game. Goals galore, but unfortunately we lost. Oh well...

Til next time, Aggression & Flair,
TKH!

Backlogged Pictures

Here are some of the pics from CuzzenHencemJambu Clan's outing to Singapore Science Centre and also our sending off at the airport of our cuzzens from Brunei...~

Helping a freaked-out Fikri up

Butting in on the girls' pic...heheheh

Hello Mummy

Eldest was mesmerised with this...

elder kept looking at this...
I LOVE this......and my sister was awed by this!!! antique handphones!!! Wtf?

Abang² bergs. HAHAThe CuzzenHencemJambu Clan

Shaggeddd =(

FINALLY! That's it. I'm not doing enlistment duty at SFT any longer. Whole day standing around from 6am trying to usher in the parents as they come in bus by bus,wave by wave, like the ocean. Raising my voice, doing public speaking to several buses of parents briefing them on the procedure on how to enter Pulau Tekong. All this for 12 hours straight.

And then of course, there was the Tornado.

The whole focus of the day was the enlistment of the Tornado's son, at 1130am. Hours before, his bodyguards in civilian plainclothes attire and some of them looking impressively like typical cheekopeks recce-d the place, briefing us on the various security measures in place. The 3-crab colonel and even a one-star Brigadier General came down just for this occasion. A friggin' one-star! At SFT of all places. There's a rare sight.

And then he came, in the middle car in a convoy of 3 cars with Traffic Police escort. His vehicle of choice was impressively... normal, a family wagon, complete with very average joe licence plates. So much the better for keeping things low-key...if not for the convoy and the Traffic Police escort of course. He breezed through in like a gust of wind and disappeared into the ferry. His son looking impressively like a miniature version of him, but lacking the hunched posture of the dadday.

Once the Tornado's hit the island, we breathed a sigh of relief because now we could relax abit. Could we? Nooo, 'cos them parents just kept coming. I swear I didn't know one could get this tired just from standing around. From 6am-6pm I kept repeating the same old briefing. Haiz.

I wonder if his son will be treated any differently? For sure no one would admit to giving him preferential treatment, but I do suspect his company would suddenly uncharacteristically be welfare... Hmmm.

Alhamdulillah we didn't cock-up. Not during the Tornado anyway.

Tornado!~

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An Eyeful A Day Keeps the Doctor Away?

Oh Wow. Now it's medically proven then. An eyeful of urm... fats a day keeps the doctor away!

Now there is no excuse for us guys NOT to look at women... and even less reasons for women not to allow their partners to ogle at other scrumptious senoritas...after all, we're only following Doctor's orders. Haha! According to the article, "Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym". Continuing, " A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful". But of course, Zulhikam is not going to do such a thing, oh good God no. ASTARGHFIRULLAHALAZIM, DOSA tau. Zulhikam is going to keep fit and healthy the conventional way by eating well, and exercising, and not smoking. Besides, staring at such... assets might just earn us a tight slap across the face. Yes yes. No looking at...at... busty beauties, voluptuous vixens or fleshy females. Yes. Well... maybe not so much. I AM a man after all =D Speaking of being a man...

Pretty Faces Get Men's Brains Going
http://www.goofigure.com/UserGoofigureDetail.asp?gooID=6428

"A beautiful woman's face is like chocolate, cash or cocaine to a young man's brain, according to Harvard University researchers. Their brain-imaging study revealed that while young heterosexual males are indeed capable of finding beauty in another man's face, only a lovely female visage can set off the "reward centres" in their brains.

When men in the study were shown pictures of various faces, only the female faces deemed beautiful triggered activity in brain regions previously associated with food, drugs and money, according to findings published in the November 8th issue of Neuron. The unique effect of the comely female face occurred despite the fact that the men also rated some male faces as "beautiful."

"It looks like there can be a difference between what the brain 'likes,' an image that is judged to be attractive, and what the brain 'wants,' something that is regarded as a reward in and of itself," study author Dr Hans Breiter, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, said in a statement. In their experiments, the researchers first asked a group of men to rate how attractive they found the faces - which, unbeknownst to the participants, had already been placed into the categories "beautiful" or "average." The men's ratings, it turned out, fell in line with the categories, and attractive male faces garnered ratings similar to attractive female faces.

But in the next phase of the study, men in another group were allowed to control how long they viewed a particular face by pressing a key. Breiter's team found that they "expended effort" to see the beautiful female faces for a longer time, but for all other faces they tried only to "make the faces disappear faster." Finally, in a third group of men studied with brain imaging known as functional MRI, the investigators found that only the attractive female faces set off the brain's "reward circuitry."

"It's particularly interesting that the attractive male faces actually produced what could be considered an aversion response, even though they had been recognised as attractive," Breiter said. His co-author, Dr Nancy Etcoff, noted that this research echoes previous work suggesting the human perception of beauty may be "in-born." "While we know that experience, learning and personal idiosyncrasies all have an impact on attraction between particular individuals, these results show that this basic reward response is deeply seated in human nature," she said in a statement.

Source: New Zealand Herald November 10, 2001 via Reuters

I love being a man.

Jam-Packed Weekend Part Deux

SUNDAY. I had my day all planned out.
Or so I thought.
And as the Army loves to say, "I thought, you think...who confirm?"

Woke up at 11+AM shagged after yesterday's exploits. Had a jamming date with my fellow ATM members Hifzie and Fauzie, with Shafie also at 1300hrs at Bugis MRT. I had a cohesion family makan outing with my brother-in-law's side @Johor later that night after Maghrib, and in between jamming and Malaysia I had planned on hitting Beach Road to get me an SCDF Fieldpack backpack which I had been eyeing for a few months already.

So imagine my annoyance when my mom told me that we were leaving for Johor immediately after Zohor!!! Now all my plans had to be cancelled mgnmgnmgnmgn. I couldn't possibly back out of the jamming date, my pals were counting on me. Fortunately my eldest brother had a meeting and would be leaving for Johor with his family at a later time, so I arranged to hitch a hike on his car. Hitch-a-hike eh. COOL. Just came off the top of my head there.

And so we jammed, at some anonymous hole-in-the-wall studio at Bugis. Hifzie had proposed a setlist of what is mostly Hard Rock and Rock Melayu numbers, including Don't Cry and Sweet Child O' Mine from Guns N' Roses, and Cintamu Mekar Di Hati and Sendiri from May...and also the evergreen Sejati from Wings. It would have been a hell lot more enjoyable if not for the very, very poor quality of instruments and equipment provided. I even broke a string from bending too hard on a rusty one! Sssshhh k!... O_O

After jamming for maybe 1.5 hrs, I decided I COULD maybe squeeze in some time and hit Beach Road, so we set off on Bus No. 11 (that's Army-speak for infantry soldiers walking on foot, for the uninitiated) walked off course, before finally locating Beach Road. I got my fieldpack, but I hadn't eaten breakfast nor lunch, and was well hungry, yet I had no time 'cos my Beg Fan was waiting at the carpark, so I tapau-ed a Beef Bistik and devoured it like a hungry dog inside the car. This was followed by a donut, and some Baskin' Robbins ice-cream at Malaysia. I told ya I was eating much nowsaday. Incredibly sinful food.

Or so I thought. More sinful was the food that was to come later that night. We set off for our favourite makan haunt @ Kampung Senibung, just across the Straits of Johor from Singapore, and on the menu that night was Steamed Fish, Chilli Crab, GIGANTIC Butter Prawns, La-la (what do they call this in English I wonder?), Stingray... woah, my mouth's drooling just reminiscing of the food. I'm incredibly lucky I have the type of body that just won't get fat no matter what I eat, and I guess an active sporty lifestyle doesn't hurt either. Oh man I'm getting hungry againnn... I could use the cookies and brownies promised in my mouth right now~ ^_^"

Reached home about midnight, and I scrambled to prepare everything to book in to camp the next morning, and I ended up sleeping at 1+AM. And to think that I have to catch the early 0645 fastcraft mannn! That is suck ah.

So that's my weekend. How has YOURS been?

Jam-Packed Weekend

Okay. I hardly have time to breathe here, so let me catch my breath abit.

The past weekend has been strangely packed for me, I prefer my weekends relaxed.

OK, in case you got no idea what in the world I'm talkin' about, let me begin. I booked out on Sat noon, and was all primed, psyched up and ready to play in the first TKH game in months later that day. However, as per the usual in recent times, my hopes were penyek-ed, as I was informed by team captain Yusry that the game was cancelled. However, he asked me along for a kickabout session at East Coast's futsal turf in the evening. So, while awaiting the time, I went to the Nokia Care Centre at Century Square to get my handset repaired. Which of course, they didn't. Waited close to 2 hours waiting time too! Mgnmgnmngmgn.

So, the next big thing to look forward to was the futsal kickabout. Drove to East Coast, kicked, dribbled and shot my way through a few matches, earned another excellent bruise on my right shin just as the one on my left was recovering, and left the place with Yusry as my date to the Clan's barbecue. Hey, they DID mention to bring along someone. And Yusry is as much a Clanner as anyone...

Anyhoo. Tong's place was humongous! It's the one in front of Masjid Taqwa. As I greeted my fellow Clanners, I found that the ladies were having a cohesion session with each other inside while the guys were chillin' out outside. Ah, I see the Clan is still observing proper Muslim etiquette. Alhamdulillah~ Needless to say, the usual crude boy jokes which abounded doesn't count as improper of course...heh.

Time ticked-tocked its way down to midnight, and Nawaz was panicking because he had to send his girl back all the way to Boon Lay before it was too late. Feeling a conscience, I volunteered to drive them to Boon Lay, so as not to get my buddy into trouble. After all, I wouldn't want my 23-year old friend to get into trouble for bringing his 17 year-old girlfriend back home too late would I? And yes Nawaz, after finally meeting your girlfriend instead of just seeing her pictures, I have to agree with you that she's darn JAMBU HOT ah! Haha. Good choice mate~ ;) I wish I'll get that lucky too someday...

For some reason Nawaz was thanking me profusely for that gesture, so he proposed that I drove us to SIMPANG BEDOK (AHEM) to treat me to a nice warm mug of teh tarik. In the end, we tapau-ed 12packets of the warm sweet beverage to bring back to Tong's to share with our brothers. As the guys settled down to a game of Cluedo after all the ladies have left, I left Tong's house as it was alerady 1 AM in the morning and I wanted to catch the Man Utd-Aston Villa FA Cup match at home...

So that's my Saturday. Stay tuned for Sunday's tale!

Cho bo lan?

TODAY IS SAF BMTC MOVIE GALA DAY!!!

Timing to be met: 0745 h @ LIDO Shaw Towers.

Working backwards, Reveille: 0545 h.

Keen to avoid getting extra duties from my superiors for coming late for external school/unit events (ahem Nabil), I woke up at the ungodly time of 0545 hrs, mindful to make it in time at LIDO Shaw Towers by 0745 h. I made good time, collected my goodie bag of snacks and ticket, and entered the cinema. Only to find that printed on the ticket stub, the first of the 2 movies playing will be shown at 0940hrs. NINE-FORTY AM SIAAA. And I woke like 4 hrs earlier just to meet the 'registration' timing of 0745 h uh!!! Mgmngmnmgmgmgn.

Anyhoo, the 'missing' 1.5 hrs or so was filled by games initiated by the emcee, along with lucky draws that unfortunately bore no fruit for me. Nor DVD player. Nor PSP 3. Nor LCD TV. Oh shucks. The first show to be played was "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets", and the movie didn't disappoint, though I would have much liked for there to have been more of the conspiracy theories and Masonism and whatnot. And oh! I wanna read about the secrets of Area 51 too!!! heh. And oh oh !!! The female lead is smokin' uh! Whatsername... Diane Kruger? Mmmm.

Movie ended at ard 12pm, with a lunch intermission before the 2nd screening, "I Am Legend", at around 2pm. I couldn't catch that one because my company commanders, we all had to go back to Pulau Tekong for the route march later on in the afternoon. That is suck ah. I didn't get to Solat Jumaat ( =( ), I didn't get to watch I Am Legend... and to think I puasa and tahan for the entire month of December just for this day la! Go back Tekong just for a route march...which I'm not even participating in uh! My shin's still bruised. Ow. Not muscle bruised, but BONE bruised. Ow ow. Not to mention my sprained ankle. Ow ow ow. Eeeee that sounds so ngada-ngada~

So wad's an injured PS to do? Hitching a ride on my CSM's car, once upon reaching Tekong I switched to my admin attire, and proceeded to just blast loud music in my office while eating cup noodles and reading newspaper. Nothing left to do for the rest of the day, really. So I just Cho Bo Lan. Did some re-planning for tomorrow, now that the TKH match has been cancelled. Planned to go jam, but no time, so I'm sending my watch (My G-SHOCK dieded!) AND handphone (cannot SMS!) for repair tomorrow, before enjoying myself at The Clan's Barbecue @ Aizat Tong's house tomorrow. I'm supposed to bring a girl along of course, everyone's bringing their partner, it's an introduction cum cohesion session, but since I'm unattached, I'm not inclined to invite anyone... not gonna let 'em know I have anyone in mind and at heart. Haha.

I'M SORRY CLANNERS!

MOWTHEBUCKS WHATTHEPUCK JITTERBUG!

Dear all, here's a question: Where do you usually find ants, a colony of ants at that, complete with ant eggs and practically, a nest?

I'm sure you'd answer things like 'in the jungle'...or 'on the field' or even...'a house'.

SO WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN ENTIRE ARMY OF ANTS DOING IN MY PAIR OF SOCCER BOOTS!!! %@E*&JKORS&T@E*T(@SY !!! MOWTHEBUCKS!!!

I was packing up my Nike Mercurial Talaria's Chrome/Blue boots into my bootbag to bring to Pulau Tekong later on when I book in, when I noticed some ants on my boots. Curious, I investigated the boots under the light, only to find to my horror there were ants crawling all over my boots! Ye Gads! So I rushed my boots to the toilet and washed them in hot water. Still them degil temuts crawled all over my boots, they didn't wanna die those idiots. Similanciaaao. Wondering why, I lifted up the insoles of my boots...only to find TO MY HORROR THAT THE INSIDE WAS EVEN WORSE!!! And there were EGGS!!! EGGS SEH!!! GODDAMN DOUBLE BONGOK ANTS! And all that my boots have ever gone to are various football fields !!! (duh.) And the last place I used them was the field at Tekong Stadium!!! And and it wasn't even wet! And and and there weren't like dead insects inside or anything.

THEY JUST APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE!!! MARANGPRAPUKEPONTENMARANGSCAPER BETOI !!!

THIS MEANS WAR. I don't care. Ain't no ant gonna mess with Zulhikam. I'm gonna pour Oral B inside my boots. And throw my boots AND my shinpads into the dryer. If Oral B solution and the heat of the dryer isn't gonna kill them mgnmngmngmnmgngn, then I don't know what to do.

MNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNGMNMGN!!!

Testosterone, Adrenaline & Caffeine

OK so yesterday was the Family Day event at Jurong Waterpark or whatchamacallit. Where wives and girlfriends are invited, and we guys are required to go in swimming trunks, and not even board shorts are allowed. WTF right. So, I didn't go. Where I did go was, was Tampines Polyclinic. As you all know I had a very intimate encounter with a red-hot siren a few days back also known as a fire hydrant, and I had yet to see a doctor, so I guess the time was ripe enough to seek medical attention.

I was relieved to find out that my left shin suffered nothing more than incredible bruising the length of the bone. At least its not a fracture or a broken something-or-other. Mmm strong bones! My right leg though, was as I had suspected: I had a sprained ankle. This could only mean one thing... I had best be careful with what I did.

So naturally that very same afternoon, I played soccer. Just couldn't resist it, a chance to meet up with The Clan once again and just have a guys' day of fun. We played well I guess, so well that we lost to a team of little kids, and Adam even sustained an injury. Talk about adding insult to injury! We didn't want to play physical with them kids, who weren't even old enough to shave and fantasize about girls, yet in the end they ran circles around us. SHEESH. Thanks ah kids.

I had planned to meet up with my bro Hilmi after that later at night, but he couldn't make it, so once again The Clanners, we hanged out, heading for The Saffrons at Tampines Central there to have a bite of maggie mee goreng with telur mata lembu. There we linked up with Adam and Aizad while Nawaz left early to settle urm his girl. Him and his girl problems. Haha. Who would have thought I'd finally come across the time when Nawaz had girl issues eh. Anyhoo, after that, I hitched a ride on Aizat Tong's red Honda Jazz to Mak's Place, only to realize that it was closed, before heading to Mosi's Cafe @ Arab Street, with Adam, Aizad and Azhar making their way there on their respective bikes. Down the alley, a bunch of mats and minahs were busy making noise, drunk stupid on alcohol. It embarasses me, this behaviour, especially when the Middle Eastern waiter leant close to me and asked "Sorry, may I ask: Malays are not supposed to drink alcohol right? So why are they drinking?"

Astarghfirullahalazim. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

And so on the stroke of midnight, on 010108, I can be found at Arab Street. Mosi Cafe's first customers of the new year! Having had our fill, we proceeded to Aizat Tong's house to "recce" his house for a suitable spot to hold our barbecue this coming Saturday when the various members of The Clan will catch up on lost time and introduce their significant others to...well, The Clan. There, I tried out Adam's Gilera bike for the first time and I thought I was doing well, until I lost control of the bike and the bike fell to the left. Kauz Adam was like hopping mad with me ah. But as the time-tested saying goes, "Blood is Thicker Than Fuel", so in the end he accepted my sincerest apologies and we proceeded to Simpang Bedok to have yet more food and teh. At last count, I must have visited like 3 different eating spots in one night, Mak's Place notwithstanding 'cos it was closed. Haha boys/men will forever be perpetually hungry.

I came home something like around 4am in the morning after an afternoon and evening of testosterone, adrenaline and caffeine, and ended up sleeping only at around 5+ AM Subuh time after helping someone.

Now don'tcha wish YOUR life was exciting like mine? =D

Selamat Tahun Baru & Happy New Year!!!
May our lives be blessed by Allah.
Amin.

Had a weird dream today. A very long one, and it seemed all too real. A dream of you. It's bugging me no end.