Ouch Ow Adoi Urgh Argh Owowow!

Hello there. Do you know, or have you ever wondered what it feels like to run along at fullspeed only to crash shin-first into a fiery-red fire hydrant? Thought so. Me neither.

Until yesterday.

Yes, you read THAT right. And no, I don't usually go around crashing myself into fire hydrants, or lamp-posts for that matter. What I DO usually go around doing is play football. So here I was enjoying a game or two...or many... of late-night football, when my 2IC, LTA Glenn, sent a peach of a through ball for me. Just my favourite kind of situation, I revved up the turbo, switched on the NOS, and broke the sound barrier running after the ball. Cheh. Drama eh?

And so I chased after the ball, which was heading out of the court anyways. I spotted the fire hydrant, its red colour screaming "DANGER!" to me. But ever so confident, I knew I could slow down in time AND sidestep the dang metal sculpture to boot. But obviously I didn't factor in Murphy's Law which goes something like oh I don't know, "Shit Happens." (?) As soon as I reached the grass patch surrounding the court, alarm bells started ringing in my head, as I slipped on the slippery green surface right smack into the red *insert colurful expletives here* whatchamacallit. The resulting collision produced a crowd-pleasing 'thunk' or 'thud', although it wasn't all that pleasant for me I assure you. Cringing in pain, I bent over forwards clutching my shin in agony. Expecting blood, I was relieved to find that the superficial damage to my skin was minimal, just that my white socks were ripped as though Wolverine himself left his mark there. However,an almighty swelling was taking shape. I tried to manfully get back on my feet, which I did, albeit only for a few mins. More pain was in store for me though, as soon after I tried joining back in the game, a dribble led to me being challenged by an opponent, causing me to twist my right ankle awkwardly. So, cue damage count: Left shin swollen, right ankle mangled. What other horror lies in store for me?

My hand. After all the adrenaline and endorphins had settled down, my body began to feel the full effects of the collision. Not only were my two lower limbs screaming in pain, my left palm too feels an excruciating sharp pain whenever I try to open it. Eh that is suck uh.

Broken the sound barrier I might have, but I'm just glad I didn't break my leg too. I hope.

It's All Over =(

All together now... "Chak Pong!"

That's it then. 2 weeks has gone, and now so have my cousins from Brunei.

Rushdah, Faiq, 'Ilmah and Zharif have certainly been livin' it up in the 2 weeks they've been here. Practically everyday they've been asked out by eager families of Nek Pon. Places of interest include the Zoo, Night Safari, Jurong Birdpark, VivoCity, Downtown East...and I'm sure many other places I've not mentioned. So the day before they left Singapore for good, Beg Fan decided to bring along the 2nd-generation cousins along on a trip to the Singapore Science Centre. Besides the 4 siblings, these included my siblings, me, Shahmi, Nabilah, Raihan, Kamilah, Aqilah, Haziq and my nephew, Zulfikri.

The trip went swell, the little kids especially, enjoying the spectacular magic of lightworks and sounds, along with mathematical and optical illusions on display. It brings a warm feeling to my heart seeing my extended family enjoy such great cohesion between us, when other families don't even know each of their own cousins. After about 4 hours there, our convoy of 2 cars headed for West Coast to have lunch, where we stuffed ourselves crazy. I had planned to bring Ilmah and Rushdah along with me to Peninsula, because Ilmah wanted to get MY guitar picks while Rushdah wanted to get a a pair of matching man-woman necklaces (ahem!), but in the end, they watched a movie with Ibu Jawahir and Kak Muni who had asked them along.

When the day came for them to finally leave, I had to beg my CSM to let me go on a night's off just so I could send them off at the airport. And so I came, complete with my army uniform and beret. It was a tearful moment especially for the ladies, as they hugged and cried. For us guys, it was a time for macho abang-abangness as we coolly salam-ed each other and let wished them well. God knows when they shall return to Singapore...

Oh Golly Gee

Oh my oh dear me. It's been frightfully ages since I last updated this blog. Well what can I say, I did tell certain...people beforehand that I had only 1 (one/satu/un/wahid/ee) day left before I got busy. And busy I am!

This new post of mine has kept me desk-bound and yet simultaneously running around the shop to get things done, literally. At the same time, it's a trying test of my patience to deal with problematic recruits and recruits who have problems with communication due to the fact that they are recent PRs to this country, to the extent that I have to deal with them in a manner similar to little kids when trying to get my point across, and the whole irony of it all is that this is a mostly A-level batch, and heck, I even have a Physicist amongst them! They're not stupid that's for sure, it's just the communication problem. Maybe I should try speaking Kazakh?

On the other hand, my 4 cousins from Brunei are finally in Singapore woohoo yeah and I've been spending most of my off/leave days with them while they're still here. Boy they have grown O_O Rushdah is so kakak-kakak now it's strange, Faiq the Ronald Weasley Doppelganger is growing still but his voice is yet to break, Ilmah is getting to be cheeky on top of being so bubbly she's practically effervescing, and lil ole Zharif is still the same ole adorably cute boy who's graduated from asking my elder bro Beg Mal "Apasal Beg Mal makan pokok?" when he's actually eating ulam, to asking me "Asal hidong dier merah?" while pointing at the Decepticon logo on my Transformers T-shirt. Haha incredible cuteness I know.

So I have spent my days spending quality time with them and the rest of the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan @ our chalet between 16-18 Dec (I only came on the 17th), escorting them to Bugis Street as the ever-watchful elder cousin, to teaching Ilmah guitar techniques while simultaneously being taught to play 'My Heart' by Irwansyah & Acha Septriasa from her (yes she's good). This, on top of our impromptu jam session @ BMC on the 2nd day of chalet (video to be posted up soon!!!).

Someone's been asking why we've gone from exchanging tagboard errr tags to Friendster comments. Haha. What's next?Urm...well... guess what? I got no idea. Haha.

And OH YEAH. SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI to all MUSLIMIN & MUSLIMAT!!! =)

Haiz

Well its the 1st day of the confinement period, and its been a mad rush 24 hrs for me so far. Non-stop running around settling stuffs. I never knew administrative and logistic matters could be so physically and mentally draining. And this coming from someone who's been through some hellish training!

The posting to Quebec really came at the wrong time. I had it all planned out; my recruits @Falcon would POP on 121207, and I would be clearing leave after that 'cos the company would be on lull. But Nooo, I was posted to Quebec and I have enlistment today. Which means that I would be missing out on 2 major family events: My close cuzz Kak Muni's engagement today, and the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan's chalet on the 16th-18th! =( This is suck. Sorry Kak Muni for not be able to attend your special day, and sorry me Zulhikam for not being able to treat you to a fun-filled 3 days with your cousins the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan. Maybe I'll just get the photos posted up.

=\ =( =(((

JUDGMENT DAY/D-DAY/MOMENT OF TRUTH!!!

This is it. 3 weeks of sai kang or quite literally, its crude translation 'shit work', will all culminate tomorrow and our efforts and mine, will manifest itself tomorrow.
I have been there right from the start, and the 3 weeks of hard physical labour, hours invested into setting up Quebec Company, cleaning and installing fixtures and furniture with manpower usually less than 10 men, often with 5, the results will all show tomorrow.

Because tomorrow is Enlistment Day. And I am super shagged.

Time will tell whether what we have done so far is sufficient to run the company. But hand on heart, I can honestly say that I have done my best, and so have my colleagues, in trying to ensure that enough is done to at least make the company self-sufficient and functional. What's more, tomorrow will be a trying time for me personally, as it's the first time I'm holding the appointment of Platoon Sergeant. God please let there be no cock-up, mistakes and don't let Murphy's Law come into play.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Overdue~

Kak Ana's Engagement Pic with the CuzzenHencemJambu Clan.
SELAMAT PERTUNANGAN KAK ANA

A Shot Right Through My Ego

See this advertisement? This is an advert for the new Samsung D600. But no, the focus of my topic here ain't the phone. I couldn't give 2 hoots about the phone. I'm more interested in the female model in the picture. You see, something quite jarring happened to me a few days back.
And a comment was passed which I can't quite decide if it's flattering or insulting to my male ego.

Prologue: I was sitting in front of my Platoon Commander 2LT Hairoul in his office just casually browsing through the day's edition of TODAY newspaper, when I saw this advertisement, and commented on how incredibly beautiful this woman was.
Cast: Me
Hairoul (My PC)
Travis (Clerk)

Me: Eh roul, kau tengok deni (pointing to the pic)...lawa eh... Foooh ni kalau dapat... *fantasizing dreamily*
Roul: A'ah. Tu kau ah tu.
Me: Huh? Aper yang aku?
Roul: Tu pompan muka sama macam kau. Kau tengok betul-betul.
Me: Kepala hotak kau! Aku aderlah tengah imagine dia matair aku, abeh kau boleh kata dia muka macam aku lak!
Roul: Tu Travis yang cakap. Dia yang point out pat aku, "Eh this girl would be exactly what Zulhikam would look like if he went for a sex-change!". A'ah seh, memang sama.
Me: %!$^%@$^#^&@#^!!! (Marangprapukepontenmarangscaper!!!)

For those who don't understand, what's happening here is that I was admiring this fine specimen of a lady with the alabaster skin and silky soft hair and full red ruby lips and that come-hither looks, and showing it to Hairoul and telling him what would happen if she was my girl. He replied that that girl looks like me, and that Travis was the one who pointed it out to him, saying that was what I would look like if I went and cut my member, ifyouknowadimean. And he actually agreed. Whatthebug! Travis wasn't helping either, because when I confronted him, he just laughed and said, "Haha Hikam that's sick you're making love to yourself".

Definitely an insult.

Hikam? You decide.

Speaking of making love to one's self...Enjoy. Watch till the end.

Fun Times Are Coming...NOT =\

I visited my aunt Ibu Jawahir's house yesterday for a majlis doa selamat. My cuz-in-law Abang Irwan (Beg Wan for short) is going on the Hajj Pilgrimage today, and so the majlis doa selamat was held in his honour semoga dia dapat menunaikan Haji yang mabrur. And so there was the big family gathering and makan.

Speaking of family gathering. My long-unseen cuzzens 'Ainul Rushdah, Ahmad Faiq, 'Ainul Ilmah and Ahmad Zariff are finally coming back to visit us from Brunei after what, four years?I really miss them. We in Singapore only get to meet them every few years. I missed watching Rushdah going through adolescence. Now dah macam kakak². Faiq is already 15. I wonder if his voice has broken. I swear he's a Ronald Weasley Doppelganger. Ilmah I've watched her since her whale-spout baby days grow to a blooming 14 year old. And I've totally missed Zariff's childhood.

And to coincide with anak² Bik Apis's arrival, the CuzzenHensemJambu Clan is organizing a chalet on the 16-18 Dec. Its been something like 2-3 years since our last chalet and this time round there's the added bonus of our cousins from Brunei joining us. And the games that they've planned after the majlis doa selamat sounds like major fun!

Well that's all fine and dandy, but why did I bring this up?

Because....

I WON'T BE ABLE TO JOIN THEM FOR THE CHALET!!! mgnmngmngmn.

and why won't I be joining them u ask? BECAUSE... the chalet is held on the 16-18 Dec... AND MY NEW BATCH OF RECRUITS ARE ENLISTING ON THE 15th!!!! mgnmgnmngmn. AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE I'VE BEEN POSTED TO QUEBEC! If I had stayed at Falcon, the recruits would have POP-ed on the 12th, and I'll be free to attend all 3 days of the chalet. HAIZ, mgnmgnmgn grumble grumble. And with enlistment, comes a 2-week confinement period. And and, my cousins are only gonna be in Singapore for 2 weeks!!! WTPH!

~Fooosh... Smoke Out!

Yes ladies & gentlemen, I AM in camp, and I AM tasked with a job to do, but wad AM I doing right now? That's right kiddies, I'm surfing & blogging in this spacious air-conditioned room so imaginatively called the 'Permstaff rest room'. Yawnz. I got about 100 recruits outside the room now cleaning and sweeping and washing away all the dead birds/bees/bird's nests/droppings/dust throughout the entire building, and my job is to supervise them and make sure they do a good job. But no, I'm not 'smoking out' out 'cos I did give them botaks instructions and I DID supervise them...for awhile. Haha. But now I'm getting me some well-deserved rest and TLC. Now I know how Nabil feels. HAHAHA. Perangai Nabil sak. The cool rainy weather and the monotone of the air-con humming in the background and the Westlife songs playing on the computer beside me ain't helping a guy with a stomach full with lunch keep his eyes awake either....

Lived a wasted life since the day you were born
You lacked the sense to care
Time that waits for no man you just let it go by
But now its to late to care

Your time is over there's no where to run
You lived it all but left your prayers undone
You're headed for and there's no turning back
Your past life is all just painted in black

Astarghfirullahalazim. Insaflah wahai insan. Yes, YOU.

Men In Green!

The Men of Falcon Company~...

Falcon Company Platoon 4 4/07 BMT (PTP/Leadership) 15th Sept-12 Dec 2007 (Formal)

Falcon Company Platoon 4 4/07 BMT (PTP/Leadership) 15th Sept-12 Dec 2007 (Informal)

Falcon Coy Commanders (Formal)

Falcon Coy Commanders (Informal)

My Section (Platoon 4, Section 4)

Best Damn Thing!

Remember what I said about being in love with Avril Lavigne? Now THIS is why. The pouty, full red ruby lips from which flows an edgy yet girly voice( I can just close my eyes and listen to her voice all day...menyetimkan) , the porcelain flawless alabaster skin, the slender frame... those mesmerising eyes... all in a spunky, sporty yet feminine package. Ooooh! Irresistible~ Just my kinda girl! The best of both worlds. Not too tomboyish, and not too prissy either. The perfect balance between aggression and delicateness. Now why in the world do I sound like a horny awestruck-dumbstruck-lovestruck teenager?

Awww...look at that elfin face...and from what an urm angle...it's almost as if she's asking for...ummm never mind

Spunky yet feminine...shaking her shoulders all...

Spunky...

Feminine...

Imagine she singing "~So come over here~" to me with her finger like that...Oh wow! The middle picture macam Saloma... Makes a guy wanna cry... O_O

Best Damn Thing indeed.

Looong...VERY looong...

Allo! Haven't been updating for a week. Well life has been going on as usual, with me enjoying a bit of peace ironically, now that my hp is gone. Bought 2 (TWO/DUA/ITHNANI/ER/DOS) phones (my pocket is burnt =\) to replace my bro-in-law's and my own. God, the Govt better start dishing out bonuses to us poor NSFs.

This week is a milestone week. I performed my last-ever COS duty and I played in probably my last football game for Falcon Coy, which unfortunately we lost 3-1 against Jaguar (more like the United Nations,with their imported players) in front of our entire company of watching recruits. Goddang recruits. For the 2nd time in a row that they watch us play, we lost. MUST be the recruits. And my left thigh is hurting something bad, no thanks to the exertion of sprinting up and down the left wing in rainy conditions. Suspect it's a pulled muscle. Someone thought I had a groin abrasion from my limping gait. Thanks ah man.

My kakak sedara got engaged today! CONGRATS KAK ANA. It seems as though only a few years ago that my cousins were having tuition at my house, and we're all making noise and fooling around with toys and making ice-cream and having fun in the park behind my old house. But now, one by one they're all either getting engaged, or married, or having babies. Haiz. Where has my childhood gone?

Picked up my parents who're coming back from a 2-week holiday in Australia at the airport. While driving there, I saw a traffic jam on the other side of the road and a really mashed-up yellow sports car. The jam happened just outside the exit of the roundabout, and so the jam that resulted stretched all the way to the carpark. Seeing that we can't even exit the carpark, we decided to makan and minum at DeliFrance. And that's when we met Sudin! Yes, THE Sudin. Sudin Bujang Lapok. Sudin Zaiton. Sudin...oh u get the idea. It was awkward 'cos we wanted to acknowledge him, and his family members noticed we were looking, but his entourage was so large that...oh forget it.

Heard a story from my sister-in-law's bro to be aware of a certain VCD from Muzika Records. There's this one Hamba Allah who bought this documentary a la ENTITY about ghosts and the supernatural. The start of the video had the usual doa's and all. However, he didn't watch it till the end before halfway falling asleep. 2-3 days later, his family started getting disturbances from makhluks and generally being harassed by supernatural beings. As it turns out, the CD had carried a warning, that for those intending to view it, they had better watch it till the end, because at the end there was a doa penutup. This Hamba Allah hadn't realized it, so he became the victim of said harrassment. Astarghfirullahalazim. So beware, ladies and gentlemen.

And to top it off, Beg Fan (Abang Irfan) told me to check out my email, a picture of a certain Cik Pon that was caught on cameraphone somewhere in the vicinity near my house. By then it was already around midnight so when I got home at 1+ am, I switched on the laptop and viewed the picture. Sure enough, there it was alright, perched on a tree. I even identified the location, within walking distance to my house. Anyone wants the pic? I can send the email. Hit me if u want it.

Hasta Luego mis lectores~