Chicken Soup for the...

I feel like having Chicken Soup.

Not Chicken Soup for the Soul you nitwit, Chicken Soup for the tastebuds!

And the stomach.

Especially diploma-certified-by-mom Chicken Soup =)

Appeasement

Hello friends! After the farce that is my virgin attempt at cooking proper maggie goreng early this morning, I felt like I had unfinished business with the said dish. Fortunately, my grandpa's maid came over to stay, and I asked her if she would cook for me maggie goreng for my buka (yes I was fasting). The unfinished business bugged me so much, I asked for maggie goreng even though my mom cooked a perfect chicken soup for the day. Unfortunately, my maid said she wasn't sure, so I had to explain to her verbally.

Still, for someone who claims to not know how to make homemade maggie goreng, I think she did plenty fine. A little salty, yes, but gastronomically and aesthetically it is more pleasing than my effort, no?

With proper sunny-side-up egg this time

The Pokka Peach Tea was to accentuate, not overpower,the maggie goreng this time round =)

A Moment in History

23 March 2009, 0215 hrs. I, Zulhikam, feeling peckish, and craving maggie goreng, decided to try my hand at cooking maggie goreng, although there's perfectly good asam pedas that my mom cooked. And not just the normal maggie goreng, but with REAL goreng.

Unfortunately I didn't know how to do it.

So prior to my mom sleeping, I decided to ask her verbally how to do it. It didn't help that I asked at around 12am, quite a few hours before embarking on this historic journey. As such, my memory was hazy. Fortunately, a... friend was kind enough to help me out. Of course, this friend was (IS!) female. A male friend wouldn't be of much use here. This female friend, after spending time laughing at me and saying I sounded pathetic, agreed to be of help and guide me by sms. Everything was almost ruined after I discovered that I only had maggie curry flavour and not maggie goreng. But as it turns out, I was told that maggie goreng was actually goreng-ed using maggie curry and NOT maggie goreng flavour. Who knew??? o_O

I almost gave up yet again, when I was told that I needed to chop onions for it. I contemplated cooking maggie goreng WITHOUT onions, but I was greeted by more hedonistic laughter and told by my friend that my mom would laugh at me if she knew I cooked maggie goreng w/o onions. That prospect didn't appeal to me much at all, so I tried my hand at chopping onions. I picked one up, wondered what to do with it, then just chopped it into a fraction... what fraction, I don't know. Feeling adventurous, I added in a dash of Kicap Lemak Manis Habhal into the equation. Garnished (garnished?) the egg with tomato sauce. I followed her instructions to the word as written in the sms, and even called her up (I exercised my Phone-A-Friend option!) for real-time instructions, so my maggie goreng should be quite fine isn't it?

Isn't it?

The finished product. With a big black mug of Pokka Peach Tea to wash down and mask any unpleasant flavours.

This was how the onions turned out. Black, and playing peek-a-boo in the maggie.This was supposed to be scrambled egg. Turned out like a sunny-side-up egg... with no visible sunny.

Clockwise, from top: Egg (at least eggs, no matter what you do, taste like eggs... and no eggshells in it this time! Yesss ah) Maggie (salty in areas, tasteless in others), and lastly, onions. Blackened to a crisp onions. I'm pretty sure there's some more hiding inside the mass (mess?) of maggie somewhere.

The Cook, The Consumer, The Victim. At 345am I was *STILL* struggling to finish my maggie. Lucky I listened to her advice and cooked only 1 packet instead of my usual 2. Says it all doesn't it.

Some Advice for Men...

Are you thinking of Marriage? Read what others say!
You've probably heard some of these before ... enjoy!

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

- David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer....is, "What does a woman want?"

- Freud (even Sigmund Frickin' Freud can't figure out women!)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

- Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

- Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

- James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

- Patrick Murray

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marry not a tennis player. For 'love' means 'nothing' to them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Nash

My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

- Anonymous

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

- Rodney Dangerfield

There you go. And yet...
I still love woman. Sigh.

15th Mar 09, 3.30pm - OVA Juniors vs Pratto United

And so it came to pass, that my 1st match for OVA Juniors (all this while I've been playing for Kallang Victorians, but I've since been called up to the Juniors squad) was played in near-lightning and thunderstorm conditions. Such was the danger that the referee made it clear to us that one long whistle from him meant that the game was cancelled.

Abang Zan played a 3-5-2 formation, with me on the left flank. Effectively, I was playing as a left midfielder, not a left-winger, so you can imagine after dribbling down the wing in attack I had to sprint back almost immediately to cover the left-back position... throughout the whole game! Luckily the cold weather helped preserve my stamina. Anyways, we lost that game, with the Half-time score 1-2, and Full-time score 2-5.

I got my 1st football injury in a long while. Usually I'm quick enough to avoid challenges, but as I'd planted my studs into the shin of the right-back (accidentally!) in the first half, I think Karma came around to hit me in the left ankle... several times... as I limped off and had to substituted very late in the game 0_0

OVA Juniors Match-Day Team Photo... see all the wet hair

My ankle 2 days after the match

My ankle 3 days after the match 0_0!

One for the Ladies

I always KNEW Manchester United had MASSIVE players, in ALL senses of the word, but this is something else altogether... !!!

From Football365.com's Mediawatch Page

In-house TV channels are usually drab affairs unless you're a massive fan of the club in question.

However, one man fearlessly tried to liven up MUTV's phone-in with Gary Pallister and Paul Parker last week.

Caller 'Simon' kicked off his question to the chaps in textbook style, by saying: "I'd like to congratulate Gary on the size of his bulge."

Cue slight bafflement all around, before presenter Gary Pallister committed the schoolboy error of asking him to repeat his comment.

Happy to oblige, 'Simon' clarified his remarks: "Well, it looks like he's got a massive c*ck."

We invite you to have a look at the incident, and look out for the following:

1 - Paul Parker's widening, bulging eyes.
2 - Gary Pallister's general confusion.
3 - After her suggestion that it was 'just the angle', Ms McQueen's cheeky glance to verify 'Simon's' claims at around the 33-second mark.
4 - It might just be the angle, but it really does look like he's got a massive c*ck.

Gary Pallister's got a massive wha... ?

Who knew? Part III

Who knew I'd be visiting the Supreme Court (of all places!) on a Saturday for its Open House?

Who knew that in the end, I didn't even get anywhere NEAR the Supreme Court?

Who knew that I'd end up spending my Saturday at the National Library (of all places!) reading?

Case in point. I was reading a illustrated story about Medusa seh.

Who knew that after that I'd be at Starbucks, pining for a cookie, muffin or something munchy because I was still hungry?

WHO KNEW THAT THE PERSON THAT I WAS WITH TOLD ME NOT TO BUY ANYTHING BECAUSE SHE HAD THE IDEA TO GIVE ME BROWNIES!!! Sweet =)

And though Singaporeans may urm Sing, "1 people, 1 nation, 1 Singapore", I say...

Who knew that I was going to be presented with 1 TUB OF BROWNIES of which I was told I could only eat 1 (ONE/SATU/UNO) PIECE -_-'" which I could easily have finished in 1 MINUTE but which I had to WAIT 1 YEAR for... 0_0!

Who knew that eventually, I'd get to bring home that 1 lovely tub =)

Pure, unadulterated pleasure of a biting into a brownie

Thanks U. I didn't really think you were ever gonna make them, and I really weren't expecting you to... But here it is now =)

Mine, ALL MINE!!! 8)

ALHAMDULILLAH

ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

And a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Thanks to everyone who's contributed to it =)

And now for the TP.

OVA vs Mugora FC

OVA's Kallang Victorians were playing against a Japanese team, Mugora FC, with our opponents dressed in Pink, versus our Sky Blue. I played as a left-back in a 3-5-2 formation in the first half (Zulhairi played right-back, so the two Zuls were both playing attacking wing-backs... a la Brazilian twins Rafael and Fabio Da Silva. Woohoo!), before the 2 of us were switched to left- and right-wing roles respectively in the 2nd half. Final score: 0-0.

Plus... I had 2x surprises with me. Heh. Caused abit of a stir (abit only...not too much) amongst my friends. Heh-heh. After the game we went to Simpang Bedok to eat and after that... heh-heh-heh =D

Match-Day Photo... which was actually taken at half-time

Referee took our actual pre-match Match-Day photo

Back view of our half-time Match-Day Photo taken by...
Playing as left-back at the far side of the pitch and taking a throw-in... Spot Me!Second half commenced with me playing on the left-wing, this side of the pitch

Me againAs a sub waiting to come on

With the match-ballI was joined by one of the surprises I brought along... the other one shy, don't want to show her face...

Pandai² je la eh guess who.

... of The Day!

Sourced from Football365.com's Mediawatch page:

Bollocks of The Day

Said Steve McManaman, as quoted by The BBC Website:

"The sooner Liverpool are sorted out with a new stadium and going forward in that direction there will always be question marks about them." (Erm...what?)

Childish Giggle Of The Day - Part One

'Moyes Unhappy With Wembley Semi' - Headline from The BBC Website. Well, you would be, wouldn't you? (The Queen is there, your mum is watching on the telly...)

Childish Giggle Of The Day -Part Two

'Can Somebody Please Make It Hard For Them' - Asks Andy Townsend in The Daily Mail. (Make it Hard? WTF? Not in front of the children!)

Who knew? Part II

Who KNEW that today I'd have unexpected events happen on an otherwise normal Sunday routine?

I caused somewhat of a commotion amongst my friends when I brought 2... how shall I say, surprises... for our OVA game just now.

And I surprised even myself with what happened AFTER that OVA game. I had fun. But of course, it's all (HALAL). HAHA. Ok² inside joke people.

Watch this space.

Conversation Overheard

A few hours ago, I overheard this conversation between... let's just say, A and B. I can't help but post it here.

B: So dok, mau ikut tak, besok aku dengan Z nak gi town dengan F... boleh check out the chicks~
A: Besok aku pat tempat kerja ah dok
B: Mana lagi important huh? Kerja ker pompan?
A: Tapi kalau aku tak kerja, aku tak dapat pompan
B: Betul jugak eh... *Pause* Tapi mana kau nak, kerja ker, pompan ker, kerja dengan pompan ker... Khekehrkehrke....
A: Aku nak... kerja, pompan, kerja dengan pompan, and... KERJAKAN pompan!
(A+B): *EVIL LAUGHTER*

Sheesh. Typical men. Even if I do say so myself -_-'"

Who knew?

I knew Singapore had a Mount Sophia, but I'd never really visited it.

I didn't know Singapore had a Mount Emily too.

I didn't know we had a Mount Ophir either. Which we don't obviously.

Slumdog Millionaire is one of the best movies I've watched in a while.

And if next time there aren't any popcorn, it'll be nachos. With cheese. Extra, extra cheese =)

Here's complete vindication for Man's obsession with balls for all you chickees who are wondering. Don't blame us, it's wired into our testosterone as you can see.

Shock news: Men find women wearing football shirts attractive!

05.03.09 | Ian Ferris

A survey of nearly 2,000 men has confirmed that guys prefer gals to wear the football shirt associated with their football club, instead of wearing some provocative, skimpy, and sexy lingerie.

The poll - which interviewed both football and rugby lovers - found that 34 per cent of participants were adamant that football shirts were sexier than women's underwear, while 23 per cent went for the sexy lingerie and 16 per cent opted for costumes such as a nurse's outfit.

A spokesperson for MyCelebrityFashion - a website that commissioned the research - said: "Women everywhere always had a sneaking suspicion that blokes like their football or rugby team more than they should.

But to find out that they find women more attractive in bed when they are wearing a football or rugby top is maybe taking it a little too far."

Source: www.tribalfootball.com

PS: I'd take you girls in sexy lingerie, underwear AND nurse's outfit anytime, so take heart ladies~ =)

TKH Game 29 @Xinmin Secondary 010309

Updates on TKH Game 29 @Xinmin Secondary 010309
Match report from TKH Facebook page:

First loss on a gd Sunday morning. All 14 players turned up. Hikam in goal, aripp and aizad centre-back.. zakir and zahari fullback.. zulhairi and halim defensive mid, ahmad, me and pelik supported rennie upfront.

Opponents were in green , experienced malay team n a mixture of youth and adults. Game was abit scrappy coz the field was damp from yesterday's downpour. Opponents hit us first with a lob that hikam cud only punch into the net. We gathered momentum and started to play better football. A good passing game got the ball from the centre to pelik, who crossed a delightful ball into the box. Just missing rennie, yours truly hit it first time, a beit a slight deflection into the near post. 1-1.

Anyway first half concluded with us conceding another goal. 1-2 to us. Had to rearrange the formation coz there was.. something lacking in our play. We started the 2nd half slightly better. yours truly found time and space to lob the keeper into the top right corner to equalise yet again.

We tried hard to keep pace with the opponents who used the wings to their advantage. We lost focus and conceded 2 more goals. Final score 2-4

Results aside, Zulhikam played well in goal, coming out winner in one on ones, Aizad and Zulhairi stood up in defence even though this was their first time playing together, Hafiz was our new midfield maestro, winning our Man-of-the Match award.

We might have lost the plot on the field, but definitely we learnt a few things today.

Khairul Sent Off!

We say bye-bye to Abang Khai as he returns to Sydney to continue his radiology studies. See ya back in July!

U Owe Me One

Congrats on passing your dreaded TP Test and getting your Class 3 licence! A pass on your first try! Join the club babehhh...

Don't get *too* excited though. If you wanna celebrate, wait atleast till I get my Class 2B aight? Then we can celebrate together-gether =) U owe me a trip in a car!

Khairul's Engagement

It's been a week, and here are the photos finally. We welcome our err... potentially first-ever female Clanner, (Clanner by association ah) Nur Marlina. You peeps might wanna preview this and picture yourself in the position of my bro Khairul or his future-bride-to-be... Simply cut and paste your faces and picture yourself in their attire! Who knows next year or so it'll be one of you...

Bedspread of gifts for the girlU girls reading this must be feeling rather envious innit

So much food it was dizzying
Before carrying gifts, must stock up energy first

Having a quiet (well...maybe not) mamam moment outside

I can eat this all alone, I can!

Ferrero Rochers!!! Mmm...

The Ring

It's seriously weird seeing a Clanner posing with engagement gifts 0_0

The first Clanner to get engaged! =)

Once again Tong is lagging... for our Gambar Baiyekkk!!!
...the one which of course, explains my oft-commented Facebook profile photo -_-'"

Tong nampak macam tak pasti

So does Khairul! 0_0

Doa selamat before leaving for the girl's place

Arman filming a videomessage from Khairul

Abbas & Nawaz make for weird cousins

Lucky Arman & Faisal aren't cousins too

We got time for yet another Baiyekkk! moment in the lift

The Clanners bring in the gifts. I got to carry the Ferrero Rochers! Girls, here I comeeee....

Abbas's smile is highly suspicious O_o

For a Physical Training Instructor and PE teacher, Adam looks chubby here! 0_0

Nawaz brings in the snacks... but its missing one VERY impt snack: Chickadees...

Merisik and announcing the terms of the engagement

She reminds me of a certain someone who sometimes tags my board...

Khairul gave us the green light to take as many pictures with her as we wantWe actually contemplated having another Baiyekkk! moment here

...but our better judgement decided against it.

The Ring That Binds Them - Hers

The Ring That Binds Them - His