Some Advice for Men...

Are you thinking of Marriage? Read what others say!
You've probably heard some of these before ... enjoy!

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

- David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer....is, "What does a woman want?"

- Freud (even Sigmund Frickin' Freud can't figure out women!)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

- Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

- Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

- James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

- Patrick Murray

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
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Marry not a tennis player. For 'love' means 'nothing' to them.
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Nash

My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

- Anonymous

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

- Rodney Dangerfield

There you go. And yet...
I still love woman. Sigh.