Al-Fatihah

Please, sedekahkan Al-Fatihah to my friend and fellow trainee from Leopard Company, Delta Company and Hotel Company, MUSTAFFA, who passed away in a motorbike accident yesterday afternoon. He was going to ORD in 2 weeks time on the same day as me.

Inalillahiwainaialaihirraji'un.
Semoga Allah mencucuri rohnya.

MUSTAFFA

1983-2008.

OPEC Summit '08 (VS Maelstrom Raya '08)

SMS from Samir:

"Annual VS jln raya on 19th October. Meet at 10am at Azhar's. Please reply to facilitate planning and transportation. Costume for this year: JUBAH"

And so I went to look up high-and-low for my Jubah's. Maelstrom's Raya outings are always a scream, last year the concept was Batik, but I couldn't make it (Army...as usual), and with a concept like JUBAH you just KNOW I wasn't going to miss it would I? I actually forwent my family's raya trip to Johor to catch up wit' the old Gin Gang. I'm always up for anything crazy. Heh heh. Unfortunately, we were missing quite a few members who couldn't make it, such as Sakban, Zulhairi, Ismail, Fid Kapak, Fid Monday, Azri Dedek, Azri Boner, Jihad (now tat WOULD be interesting in Jubah...heh), Apit, Faisal Mamak, Hazwan, Farhan Sabil, Ibkaar (in Malaysia) and of course, Sa'eed (motorbike accident... see pic no.10) Did I miss anyone out?

*Video is on the way =D

Sheikh Samir STOPPIT Sak! Watch out Hijab Iran... Jubah Arabia trend generasi terkini!

From Al(Oil?)-Sheikh to Pengganas

Tag-team Champions of the World say...

Ya Goin' DOWN!

Sheikh Sam and Sheikh Sop OPEC Members from left: Algeria, Angola, Iraq, Ecuador, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Nigeria, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Iran, Indonesia (suspended)

Mysterious Arab consortium strikes deal to buy Manchester United Wali Songo? No, Wali TakSnono...

Poor Sa'eed Majlis Pernikahan

The Kelas Ugama ended late at night

Waiting for our rented untas to arrive

Things Women Don't Know...

I found this great thread while surfing Football365.com

Some would say it's sexist, others would say its stereotypical. some would say it's tongue-in-cheek, others would swear it's true, but at the end of the day it makes you laugh.

At least I did anyway.

Check out some gems:

Things Women Don't Know...

...how to read maps despite having an A level in geography . (hairymac) (How true...)

...That their muffled screams only turn me on even more. (Professor O 'Rye) (Heh Heh)

...I know a girl who thought the past tense of Squeeze was "Squoze".

And she's a journalist.

Also a different female journo I know couldn't point to Australia on a map (bigmouth)

...I was in a pub once and arguing with my friend saying that I considered Maradonna's goal against England to be the best in any World Cup and a (hot) Argentinian girl came up and hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek (Bananinho) (ZOMG!)

...that you don't have to support one of the teams playing to enjoy watching a game of football (frvegar) (Why can't women understand this eh???)

...My ex didn't know whether the earth revolved around the sun or the sun around the earth. She spent an hour debating this with her flat mate (electrodent)

...How to be reasonable. Or rational. (Willy Mouse)

Conversation about the Twin Towers the other day.

Girl: "See when people were jumping out the windows of the Twin Towers? How did they get the windows open? Cos they wouldn't be able to open them that high - they'd be locked"
Me: "Yeah, but chuck a desk chair at them hard enough they'd break"
Girl: "No they wouldn't, what if they were perspex?"
Me: "Granted, they'd be harder to smash, but chuck something heavy at them hard enough and they'd break"
Girl: "Doesn't matter anyway, if they broke a window near the top of the Twin Towers, they'd be vaccumed out, like on planes" EH? (The Dazzler)

...While dscussing Bullseye the TV programme:

My gf: Is that the one with the hippo on it?

Her mate: yes, that's right.

Me and my mate: no, it's a bull, hence the title and the f**king big horns on it!! (Merson's bookie)

I remember watching The Godfather with an ex before, and there's that bit where Michael talks Italian to Solozzo but there's no subtitles, now I don't look like an Italian major, and wouldn't have a clue what they're saying, and being my gf at the time she'd know that, but still she turns to me and goes "What they saying??" me: "I don't know, I'm not fluent in Italian!" (the neck of tevez)

...The offside rule. Don't ask me every f***ing game, i've already explained it 4324234 times (Egon Spengler) (HOW TRUE IS THAT!)

A girl I worked with didn't know that no matter how much music you put on an MP3 player, it would still weigh the same (ramit and jamit)

...They don't understand Teletext.
...They don't know why Soccer Saturday is so entertaining.
...They don't know that we don't tab our willies with paper after a wee, a lot have no knowledge of the shake and wiggle (urm...)
...They cannot get into their heads that sometimes we would rather watch football in a pub with strangers than sit snuggling on the settee stroking their hair and watching Strictly Come Dancing
...They don't understand how sh*te shopping for furniture is, yes dear that's a lovely throw
...And they certainly don't get that whistling for pleasure really is enjoyable. (Grimandinho)

...I read a woman's magazine the other day, and in it they mentioned that "43% of all men masturbate at least once a week". As if this was a shocking and new discovery.

if only they knew I beat off three times a day, everyday. (the neck of tevez) (Wasn't me.)

...My older sister, who is a teacher, didn't know what a torso was
and she teaches biology (csafc)

...they don't understand the joys of a great big, 20-second long pitch bending fart (ridderz) (Hmmm)

Similar vein.

When the iPhone first came out I showed my gf it on the computer. I explained what it did and how it was touch screen and you scroll through your messages, music, contacts etc. anyway she proceeded to start tapping the picture of the iPhone on my computer screen thinking somehow it would work. I was actually speechless. (Ringo's Drumstick)

...that I spend most nights searching for that one perfect porn scene (veebo) (DEFINITELY doesn't apply to me)

...My missus won't accept the fact that the stars are actually distant suns. She has a masters degree in education. (FatboyTim)

...My ex thinking Brazil was the capital of Spain and her mate calling her an idiot and saying Brazil is in Asia.

My head just went down when they were arguing about that (Leighton)

...doing a conference call once and had to get the participants to login to a website - anyway gave them the details and the access number (to the website) when I heard a 'beep' in my ear and then some woman say it wasn't working. asked her to try it again with the same results - cue a couple of seconds of stunned silence before I go 'are you pressing the keys on your phone rather than typing the number on your keyboard?'

colleagues fall about laughing (Bananinho)

That cricket is played outdoors in hot countries.

Watching the tv and ad for Sky sports winter of cricket comes on...

Doris: "How can they play cricket in the winter?"

Boris: "They play in other countries, like India, West Indies"

Doris: "What indoors?"

Boris: (PabloHoney)

...That I don't exist purely for the purpose of telling them they aren't fat (training slave) (Women just don't get THIS do they)

Have Fun! =)

Groan

You know the feeling of going back to work after 13 days freedom? No?

Well I'll tell you.

The feeling as how Sakban (Sufyan...YanBan... you know, HIM) would say it, IS SUCK. Today for the 1st time in 2 weeks I'm waking up at the time I've been going to bed for the past week, which is 530 am! Grrr. And the best part is I slept at 230am after failing to resist watching England beat Kazakhstan 5-1. And its all because I've got COS duty to do. Geez.

They should make it an illegal crime (is that a redundant word there? HEH) to make Muslims come back to do weekend duty in Hari Raya month. Because I could have been going visiting, or in the case of my family today, hosting an OPEN HOUSE. Of some sorts. Geez.

Anw, talking about visiting. Yesterday I went visiting. To Amri's Abode in Pasir Ris... but not before walking a fair bit to get there. Blame the Pasir Ris planners. Any logical person would assume Streets 51, 52, 53 are lumped together... having found Streets 52 and 53, who would have ever fathomed Street 51 would be located halfway on the other side of the town??? Geez.

So after that I agreed to accompany someone jalan raya..visiting people I don't even know. Yes, that's another buat-macam-sardin-je moment of mine. Turns out one of the people whose house I visited was someone whom I already know... sort of... by accident. And another is someone whom after abit of introductory small-talk I found was the younger sister of my VS friend Ibkaar Darke! Mampos. Ibkaar seh. Of all people... he of the 0h-rumah-aku-3-tingkat-pasal-bapak-aku-jual-apple deadpanned face. It's incredibly freaky how small this world is. And of course... the final house being the seemingly-permanently-menstrual girl's house which left me with a cross-country train ride home back to Tampines at 2230hrs without my Creative Zen to accompany me. Geez. Haha she's so gonna kill me for this. IF she ever reads it =)

And of course, did I mention the aforementioned person got us lost in navigating the way to Ibkaar's sister's place? HAHAHA. Okok I'm using up my 9 lives fast.

Oh well. Back to the dreary routines of army work again. I'm just looking forward to this Wednesday... BOOKOUT! =)

*edit

Something's wrong with the network, or my phone. Because upon reaching camp suddenly my phone has no network, yet at one point suddenly there was, I received backlogged messages, and now the signal's gone again. Only available one is SingTel. If anyone wanna reach me, please be patient and wait till I get my network back... =)

A Series of Unfortunate Oversleeps

I really had every single burning desire to wake up at 7am to go for a run on Wednesday, and asked me mam to wake me up on top of my own alarm clock. And what did me do? Me woke up at 7+, slept somemore, up at 8+, slept again... goodmorning at 10+, you guessed it, I rested somemore and next thing I knw it was 2pm. 0_0 ! The consequence of sleeping at 4am every day... Oh well. Nawaitu nya ada, but Tuhan yang menantukan kan orang cakap. Heh.

And what do you know? Not only did I miss my run, I missed my bike practical which I booked at 230pm! Grumblegrumble. My first bike practical in about 3months and I missed it. That's $20++ down the drain right there.

Followed my sister to go viewing for a potential house that night in Pasir Ris before Raya-ing at Wak Jaafar's. Was all dressed in baju kurung and carrying baby 'Aqil, what with my parents, sister and her hubby all occupied with examining the house... only for once again, someone to bring up the niggling idea in my head that people are starting to see me as a husband and father rather than a growing young man. This time, its the housing agent. A sweet lil lady, she saw me dukung 'Aqil and attempted to make small talk,

"Ni maknye mana? Tak ikut ker?"

She thought 'Aqil was my son and was asking where MY WIFE was! Geez. 2nd time already that someone took me to be 'Aqil's Dadday. This continues the recent unsettling trend of people asking when I'm getting married, or if I'm married yet, or or... ohuknowadimean. Ye Gads! Don't you people get it? I'm too YOUNG.

Ah. Finally I booked AND wokeup early for my bike practical today. In fact, I woke up earlier to go for a run (thanx for the wake-up call Tini! =) ) and was all confident that my booklet and everything was in place... only to discover 30mins before the lesson that the said booklet was in fact, my old Class 3 booklet and that my Class 2B booklet is GONE. That left me with the unenviable task of attending the lesson without a booklet. Geez. And and someone was supposed to have lunch with me, but she conked out instead. Thanks EH Tini.

Jalan Raya tonight! =)

Football Quotes of the Week!

A series of highly entertaining one-liners from...

"A cataclysmic cock-up" - Gary Megson's view of Rob Styles' unfathomable penalty award for Manchester United against his Bolton side.

"Rob turned down four or five for us last year so maybe we got payback today but he still owes us four" - Sir Alex Ferguson's alternative outlook.

"I can't think of any other team in the world who ask you to play against the likes of Dimitar Berbatov, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez, yet we were doing okay and had had the best chance of the game. But unfortunately to that four you had to add Rob Styles" - The final word from the Bolton boss.

"Jeremiah" - Joe Kinnear struggles to identify Geremi.

"I don't think he even shaves" - Wenger considers the growth (or otherwise) of 16-year-old Jack Wilshere, a scorer during the Arsenal kids' rout of Sheffield United.

"I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to be able to communicate with you journalists and you think that I lacked respect. Who is Ranieri to speak? After five years in England he had trouble saying good morning and good afternoon" - Jose Mourinho's scathing response after Claudio Ranieri, his predecessor as Chelsea manager, criticised him for skipping a midweek press conference.

"The Premier League is the best championship in the world right now, in all aspects. All the clubs are very well organised" - But Phil Scolari's Chelsea side is top of the table so he would say that, wouldn't he?

"I have never seen anything like it. It's like a UFO landing" - The bewildered reaction of Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd to the award of the goal-that-wasn't-even-a-goal-kick at Vicarage Road on Saturday

"I wouldn't swap him for anyone at the moment. Except Pele" - Gabriel Agbonlahor damns Aston Villa team-mate John Carew with faint praise: Edson Arantes do Nascimento aka Pele is now 67.

"The start United have had was not because of my absence, because last season we also started badly and I was playing" - Cristiano Ronaldo proves he can be modest.

and the kicker....

"Statistics are like mini skirts: what they reveal is interesting but what they conceal is vital!" - Anonymous

The Many Faces of Hikam (Girl)

Rambut ILOVEJEANNIE sak

Rambut Saloma pe!

Kauz rambut Nani sak. Stoppit Hikam, STOPPIT

Rambut Beverly Hills 90210 la sey!

I make a hideous girl. Lucky I'm a guy.

The Many Faces of Hikam (Guy)

A remarkable application from Nis made me spend hours playing with it.
It's amazing what you can do from THIS...

...to THESE!

Kauz gambar stoppit sak!

Raya at Nis's.

Raya at Nis's. Same day as Raya on my Mom's side but in the evening.

Left-Right: Dzar Mateen Ikam Shazrin Ria

Nit (???) N' Nis

Dzar Nis Mateen

2nd Day Raya Pics

2nd Day Raya on my Mom's side.
Pics from my sis's camera again~

'Aqil excite!

Pak AjiTokcik. Rilekz complete with gumuh on his mouth

Moms, Grandma and Babies

Pak Long's Family with our cousins from JB

Beg Mal's Pose Mauttt...Atok and Cucu

My Grandma, Parents and Nephew

Where the boys gather, the girls focus their attention!

Male cousins and cousins-in-laws. Pic missing my cousins from Brunei, Beg Wan (working), Shahmi (COS duty... stupid army), Abg Yazid (to join later) Raihan (recovering from his misfortune) and Me (stupid army!!!)

'Aqil censored... This pic reminds me so much of myself some 22 years ago!

'Aqil rambut musti mau ikut Uncle Ikam

Beg Mal's Pose Mauttt lagikz

7-Car (Seven! :D) Convoy and the drebas

Female cousins pic with Fikri terselit. Pic missing my female cousins in Brunei

Every single year these '82 babies take their photo without fail!
Kak Syai, Abg Yazid and Kak Husna

'Aqilnye Pipi stoppit sakkk

'Aqil dengan penuh sardin pulls Insyirah's blouse. Da sah lelaki